An extremely entertaining and thoughtful talk on why one should read Proust! Safe to say, everyone was suitably convinced (if not already!) Parfait @MaxMcGuinness4#DBF2025
"The essential character structure of any human being cannot be understood without an appreciation of two distinct and interacting dimensions: developmental level of personality organization and defensive style within that level. - Nancy McWilliams
1/ Highlights:
About 7 out of 10 patients who get “evidence-based therapy” for depression rare still depressed after treatment
Of the 3 that get well, about half would have gotten well without treatment
No significant differences between types of therapy (the “dodo bird verdict”)
“Third wave therapies” (eg, ACT) no better than plain old CBT, or any other treatment
From the paper: “Most patients do not respond or remit after therapy, and more effective treatments are clearly needed”
Can someone please explain to me again why these treatments are routinely called “evidence-based therapy?”
Be wary of ads to match you with a “licensed therapist”
“Therapist” isn’t a license
Ask: What kind of license? Where trained? How many hours of supervised practice experience, in what settings? How much personal psychotherapy (hrs & yrs)? Currently getting ongoing consultation?
Six reasons people keep repeating painful experiences
1️⃣ To alleviate guilt. Some people feel guilty about success or pleasure, as if enjoyment were a transgression. They seek suffering to expiate guilt and pay off their conscience. In some cases, pain and suffering become the “admission price” for whatever pleasures they allow themselves
2️⃣To gain a sense of control and mastery. The person attempts to gain a sense of control over painful or traumatic experiences they once experienced helplessly. There is an underlying (unconscious) fantasy they can undo a past trauma, or right a past wrong, by repeating it and getting it to come out differently (but in reality, they just keep reliving the same pain)
3️⃣Suffering is home. An analogy can help us understand this: when panicked horses are rescued from a burning stable, they often run right back in. The horses associate the stable with safety and security—it’s their home
A child’s earliest attachments, however unhappy, are also home. However neglectful or abusive, that was where the child experienced whatever care and comfort they ever knew. In their search for comfort, they find more pain
4️⃣Secondary gain. Pain, suffering, and MH symptoms come with indirect or hidden benefits which clinicians call “secondary gain.” Their difficulties may bring attention, sympathy, release from responsibilities, special treatment, even financial incentives (eg, disability pay). Secondary gain can be a powerful incentive for continued suffering
In psychotherapy, it can be helpful to invite patients to reflect on the *downside* of getting well. The first response is likely to be something like, “There is no downside, I’d do anything to get better.” If the therapist persists and says something like,“Not so fast, let’s really think about this,” there may be some suprising insights
5️⃣To punish others (passive-aggression). The desire to punish someone else can be more powerful than the desire to avoid pain. For example, a person may unconsciously sabotage their prospects for success or happiness *precisely because it’s what someone else wants for them*
Mental health symptoms also cause pain and suffering for other people. For example, a depressed person may be too depressed to do their share of work, earn a living, keep social commitments, have sex with their partner, etc. There can be (generally unconscious) sadistic pleasure in inflicting this pain on others, and without responsibility or consequences. But who can blame the suffering person? After all, they’re the victim
6️⃣To enhance self esteem or feel superior. For some, feelings of self-worth and even superiority are tied to self-deprivation and self-punishment. The person seems organized around the belief, “I am better than you because I suffer more.” The more suffering, the more perceived moral superiority. In the clinical literature, this is called “moral masochism”
One important caveat: these are rarely conscious choices. These patterns come about unconsciously
As Tolstoy wrote, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” (Anna Karenina principle)
We could say, every depressed person is depressed in their own way
No one has a “secret.” And if they do, its value is only to them, not to you
Don't miss our Legacy Interview with Jeremy Holmes on 29 Jan 2025 (7-9pm UK, 2-4pm ET), featuring special guests Arietta Slade, Anthony Bateman, and Evrinomy Avdi.
Get your ticket: https://t.co/him8XO5d9a
Explore how attachment theory transforms clinical practice, plus insights from his new book 'The Spirit of Psychotherapy'!
#MINDinMIND #AttachmentTheory
“My clinical experience has consistently supported the original Freudian notion that people act out what they cannot remember or what they cannot allow themselves to feel.” - Nancy McWilliams