Albert Schmidt

I'm a #husband, #father, #writer, #camper. #scifi #fantasy #satire #historicalfic. The many facets of me make me the me that I am. My tweets are my own.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

Short Story: A Most Curious Cat Burglar https://t.co/bXEs4pmtx0

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

My wife and eldest daughter are now hook deep into crocheting, suddenly and expensively. My wife is currently watching a crocheting video on YouTube. I occasionally hear a sigh, followed by "slow down puppy." And the video repeats a few times.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

Ai artists and Ai writers are like parents with athletically exceptional children, taking credit for what someone (or something) else did.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

Sitting outside, watching one of our kids play soccer. Bugs everywhere! My lovely wife was speaking, then with a violent lean forward and a horrific horking sound, she spits.

Wife: one of those bugs flew in my mouth

Me: that's mother's nature's way of saying you talk too much.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

@kstjarre I'm sure the coaching staff who are left aren't going to make that stupid decision again. Such a limited value of intel spying on opponent practices. Once the game starts, you must outplay your foe. Canada did this today.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

Canadian women's soccer team are for real. Winning against the venerable French team in added time. Absolutely amazing!

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

I don't see the team drone.

[Time Capsule Tales @timecaptales]

22. Team Canada 🇨🇦

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

It's true, you can believe whatever you wish, but no amount of wishing will make what you believe true.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

According to CBC, The Can Olympic Com. has advised new information about previous drone spying has come out, which has led them to suspend Bev Priestman. If this is a pattern of behaviour, it's incredibly stupid. Sunlight is the best disinfectant and I hope there's transparency.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

Unrealistic article. Mr. Arthur, judge, jury & executioner, decrees Priestman should be held responsible for actions her staff did on their own initiative. He can't believe she didn't know. I can't believe he thinks managers know what their staff do every second of the day.

[Bruce Arthur @bruce_arthur]

Bev Priestman has been great for Canada, but she cannot coach another game at these Olympics after this drone spying scandal, denials or no. And yet she will, because the Canadian Olympic Committee won't make that call. https://t.co/icIrihq576

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

@barcodeAndrew @bruce_arthur That's extreme. Talk about carpet bomb justice. Hold those that did the deed accountable. The players did nothing wrong.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

I hate discovering words I've never seen before during my desperate flailing to solve the day's Wordle puzzle.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

@J_WBerry There can only be one smoke detector!

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

Do you really have a headache, or is it just in your head?

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

@J_WBerry I posted b/c our CO detector went off at 1am. One chirp only. I checked the house, googled CO poisoning, read about symptoms including headache. Developed a headache & stayed up like a shmuck then realized our furnace is not running. But you're right, too. Esp. menopause.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

No one is coming to save us from ourselves. We're all we have.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

Interviewer: Here's our panel discussion on gravity. On my left, the preeminent physicist Dr. B. Mass.

Mass: We've discovered the first evidence for the graviton particle.

I: Wonderful. On the other side we have day labourer Frank.

Frank: I ain't never seen this gravy-ton.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

Me: being off from school what did you do today?

Youngest: Watched tv. Played video games.

Me: I see.

Youngest, feeling I was being judgemental: well it's better than what she did. (Referring to her older sister)

Me: what did your sister do?

Youngest: she stunk all day.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

@SoulScratches I'm also, surprisingly, fond of the name.

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

This is an Albertosaurus. And would you believe this happens to be my favourite dinosaur?

[Albert Schmidt @Albert_Schmidt]

I am certain the Treaty of Versailles had less stipulations.

And, clearly Rule 11 was nothing but a lie.