Things Aldo Says

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"Do you think we'll read something about him in the papers Sunday? Am telling you, somebody's got a photo of him hanging oot the back of Eamonn Holmes."
#ThingsAldoSays #ThisMorning #philipschofield #Philip

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

L: "Have you ever tried contact lenses Alan?"
Aldo: "Aye, coloured ones, I got them at a porn convention."

What followed was the most insane story and most unlikely answer to the question "Have you ever tried contact lenses". That's our Aldo #ThingsAldoSays #Porn #Convention

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"Can I eat my wife's poop? Let's find out." #ThingsAldoSays #Poop #Marriage #Wife

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"I watched mah mate's cat get raped by another cat." #ThingsAldoSays #Cats

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"I don't even phone mah maw, I'm not looking after him." #ThingsAldoSays #Family #Work #Office

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"I can jump higher than anyone in Dennistoun." #ThingsAldoSays #Dennistoun #Glasgow #Sports #Athletics

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"My favourite teacher at school was a paedo." #ThingsAldoSays #Paedo #Nonce #nonceuponatime

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

Aldo: "What's that Mexican sword guy?"
SH: "Zorro."
Aldo: "Nah, there's three of them, the three something."
SH: "The three musketeers?"
Aldo: "Aye."

#ThingsAldoSays #Musketeers #Mexico #France

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"There was this protest, it was what I can only describe as cunts wrapped in tin foil." #ThingsAldoSays #ExtinctionRebellion #Protest #ClimateChange

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"Nae make up, just lovely looking goths." #ThingsAldoSays #Megadeth @Megadeth #Metal #HeavyMetal

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

Aldo: "I don't want to speak to my wee brother."
Colleague: "Why?"
Aldo: "I spoke to him enough growing up."
#ThingsAldoSays #Family #Brothers #Brother

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"How do you spell 15?" #ThingsAldoSays #Spelling #English #Numbers

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"Desperate measures call for desperate things." #ThingsAldoSays #Phrases #DesperateTimes #desperate

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"Oh no, I think am going blind again. Wait. I'm alright." #ThingsAldoSays #Blind #Eyesight #Healthcare

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"Are you just gonna do a Ctrl G? Control: Gangsta." #ThingsAldoSays #Computing #CopyPaste #Gangster @GStarRAW

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"I wonder if they taste nice? I bet they dae." #ThingsAldoSays #Flamingo #Animals

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"What's the point in a flamingo? They just staun there." #ThingsAldoSays #OurPlanet #Animals #Flamingo

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"What's the point in a flamingo? They just staun there." #ThingsAldoSays #OurPlanet #Animals #Flamingo

[Ashley 🇵🇸 @ashleypancamo]

'Your husband is a Tory sell out with no mates. Also I may have mentioned this but he got outjumped by a midget.' hahahahahahhahahahahah

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"She had something wrong wae her eye that was killing her and an eye test saved her life." #ThingsAldoSays #Healthcare #Eyetest #Eyes

[Things Aldo Says @AldoThings]

"The Russians could fight the gypsies man, I've never thought of that, that'd be fucked up." #ThingsAldoSays #Fighting #Gypsies #Russians #MMA