al

Denny’s Royalty, Equal Opportunity Asshole (EOA) . . . “Cost is the ultimate diagnostic, as it prices out the bluffers” - @StoopToRise

[al @Alecbama]

Lamar Jackson top 5 MVP finish

[The Ringer @ringer]

What are your NFL bold predictions?

[greg @gandalf_thegreg]

toddlers to people with deformities in the grocery store

[al @Alecbama]

@BrewersRaptor @wingsfan23 I’m a huge Tigers fan…Milwaukee isn’t offering either of these guys in a Skubal trade, probably wouldn’t even do 1 for 1 on either if these guys even if Skubal had another year of control. Absolutely delulu trade

[pnorm @paleonormie]

the future is just an endless churn of adapting your consumption habits to whatever venture-capital-backed seller is currently selling at a loss to capture market share

[al @Alecbama]

@littlecaesars @tigers run the promotion, I can’t see this man in pinstripes

[Dylan Allman @dylanmallman]

If the Second Amendment does not apply to this exact kind of moment, what do people think it is for?

A citizen can lawfully carry, see masked federal agents beating someone in public, move toward the scene to help, and then get erased with a hail of bullets because “he had a gun.”

That excuse is an insult in a country where possession is legal by design, where the whole point is that the public never becomes a disarmed audience watching state power operate with impunity.

I’m not interested in arguing frame-by-frame footage. I’m interested in the principle that a free people cannot accept a standard where lawful carry becomes a death sentence the second authority feels threatened.

If that is the standard, then the 2nd Amendment has been reduced to a vibe. The founders did not write it so Republicans could do militia cosplay on weekends.

[al @Alecbama]

@Sherman_FFB Amount of people in the replies who don’t get the joke is alarming

[DM @b0rn2pay]

Over 30 books in a year is consumerist and anti-intellectual

[interpretation @materialcritic]

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents house

[al @Alecbama]

@zvandyy @adamlevitan Been saying this all along lol

Maserati’s are fancy to people who doesn’t know cars and are grossly overpriced headaches to anyone who does. The king of depreciation and maintenance lol

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[al @Alecbama]

@kj_paul 4 or 6 was perfect; CFB is broken now

[Benjamin Solak @BenjaminSolak]

Why Aaron Rodgers is (pretty justifiably) upset with his receivers

[Kurt Benkert @KurtBenkert]

So you’ll let a second effort go for them to GET the first down, but WON’T let the second effort to allow for a fumble. Noted.

[Cole Cubelic @colecubelic]

This is the 1st time Alabama has been below .500 at any point in a season since the end of the 2006 season.

[Gary Treeman @PurpyNFL]

Yeah man haven’t seen anyone making fun of Arch Manning

[al @Alecbama]

@jdm_017 @tigers Don’t h8 on the pl8

[W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94]

Yes the bartender doesn’t like me and she’s just doing her job, but that won’t stop me from imagining our life together and overtipping

[al @Alecbama]

@InnieJay34 @maxxclarkk13 @kevinMcGonigle7 Bro is 20 years old tho 🤐

[al @Alecbama]

@michaelschwab13 @BetMGM How much things change in just a couple weeks