Alexandra Cavallo

I microwave my eggs. I'm sorry. // Writer at some places you've heard of and some you have not

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

A very old, very sweet lady from my former local library just called to check in and make sure I was doing ok and I'm not crying you're crying but also maybe I cried a little.

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@TinyJana definitely the pregnancy i am more excited about fwiw

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@Heeral_Chhibber this is like the chicken version of STONKS

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

First ever job interview for an ed assistant job at Harlequin Romance. Wore a full Ann Taylor suit and did no research. They small, angry man interviewing me asked what I thought of when I thought of Harlequin. I said "Fabio." Not the right answer.

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

Last night I ordered a pizza for pick-up in Tampa, Florida- from my couch in Brooklyn, New York - if anyone was wondering if 2020 is set to be my year.

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@TinyJana also lol at the bottom of this screenshot is a picture of my pee that I took because I was worried it was too dark from rhabdo. on brand all around.

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@Heeral_Chhibber @bonappetit 🙋🏻‍♀️

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@megansarahj am now in same hole. this is real sad. Also, I didn't know your organs couldn't be donated if you were murdered!

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@Andrew_Marcinko it actually me

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

I wrote a thing for BI about the ways teens use the internet that older people don't understand and it was harder to write than anticipated because, as it turns out, I am an Older Person.

[Business Insider @BusinessInsider]

The changing ways teens are using the internet that older people don't understand https://t.co/dNutmC2PIM

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@Heeral_Chhibber Big dumb bird!

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@maiastar @dunkindonuts haha. My issue is that they persist on mistaking my wanting only two holes to meaning I can't afford the four and thus giving me about 10 as a favor? tl;dr: i end up eating them all

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

This is libelous. #AlexHasEnoughBooks

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@maiastar @CourtneyHYates i'm a real innovator

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@Heeral_Chhibber is not good. but, is very hot?

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

If by hot girl summer, you mean my feet are so sweaty that my sandals make wet squishy fart sounds when I walk, then consider me a Very Hot Girl

[Alexandra Cavallo @AlexCavallo14]

@oliviajakiel omergard first couple seasons are so so good and then the last couple seasons are so painfully bad but stick with it either way