Alex

[julia @scholarschism]

rip sean lock you would’ve loved this

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

At least she won’t have to send herself a postcard

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

Manifestation is just wishful thinking for hippies

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

All this talk of striking train drivers, no wonder they want to stop working if we keep hitting them?

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

I had a joke about broken clocks but I always get the timing wrong

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

I told my wife that I had the bill in the restaurant. She then expected me to pay, I was talking about season 2 on DVD?

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

Mange tout, Brutus

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

I like my milk like I like my orange juice. With bits.

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

I broke up with my girlfriend Claire Voyant the other week, I thought she would have seen it coming

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

The Lord of the Ringos

[Paul McCartney @PaulMcCartney]

Experience #TheBeatlesGetBack, a three-part original docuseries from director Peter Jackson streaming November 25 on @DisneyPlus. Watch the new trailer now.

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

Sean Lock was and will remain a real hero of mine. I don’t think any other comedian has or ever will make me laugh so much. Gutted to read of his passing.

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

Yesterday felt like voting between being kicked in the balls or punched in the face.

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

My favourite episode of Friends is the one when Chandelier and Jonesy go to that coffee place and do that thing and the people laugh and then they say something else

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

Babies who grow up in Essex over the next few years are going to think that they’re colour blind because of all this crap grey interior decor shite

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

💗

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

The sun is actually a ginormous lamp and night time only happens because an absolutely massive moth flies on to it every 12 hours or so

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

I can��t wait for my fiancée to walk down the aisle.

I’ve been lost in the big Tesco for hours

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

One of the people from history I would least like to go for a pint with is Shakespeare. I just think he’d be really fucking annoying. Making up new words and talking in soliloquies and shit

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

My dad brought my lunchbox to school

[Alex @AlexEllisdon]

Do you think stick insects get imposter syndrome?