Alex Garcia

I'd no strap if that were even possible

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

It’s getting down to the wire here and I’ve got a lot of manipulation to do so I can smoke everybody’s Spotify wrapped with my Apple Music Replay

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

A lot of people don’t even know that they only minted 49 of the 50 state quarters

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

Some people are just dogshit at creating yearly bingo cards and have to make it everyone else’s problem
Oh x wasn’t on your bingo card? Make a better bingo card, dude

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

“Sips” as a noun needs to be eradicated
It has already gone too far

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

No chance I’d remember to stop, drop, and roll if I were to catch on fire

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

Not just a ghost Hunter but a ghost Trophy Hunter. I’ll keep them all in jars around my study

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

It has been brought to my attention that my friend’s wife does not like that I comment “white trash” on every one of his Instagram posts

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

don't tell me it's available on disney plus if it's only available on disney plus with hulu

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

Does the fact that all these babies wear helmets now mean that one day no more adults will have weird shaped heads?

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

No one has called it the “information super highway” in a while

[formularacers @formularacers_]

"Norris and Piastri have swapped places."

Verstappen: "Ha. Just because he had a slow stop?"

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

“Thank god you have a hat on.”
-me, to guys that wear hats everyday

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

It’s fucked up that we’ll never hear Travis Kelce code switch again

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

You’re asking if I want to TIP “25%, 15%, or Custom Amount” for my state inspections and emissions payment?

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

Brother, guide me through today

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

@bertrm334 @CityofHoboken Hey @Pontifex DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

You gave up on Moo Deng, you gave up on Pesto, and now I’m hearing murmurs that you’re giving up on Stranger Things season 5? What will we have left?

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

It is actually very unclear why I need to be advertised amc theaters, laser projection, and imax just seconds before I watch the laser imax showing in an amc theater

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

It would be so tight if everyone started replying “never happened” underneath posts again. The lies have been allowed to stand for too long!

[Alex Garcia @AlexIanGarcia]

I mean STOP telling me the model is 6’1” wearing a size medium. That’s NOT true and there’s no reason to lie about it and confuse me when I’m ordering online