Alex v.2

Backup in case the Twitter Stasi get me

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

@Kim_Jong_Gone @Qasam_Soleimani @kilometerbryman @Stepien_Bill Us fake accounts gotta make a living after all.

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

@WaydeNation ...maybe

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

@slickjenkins @Hostess_Snacks Wouldn't even accept my resume. Apparently they know me too much.

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

@Judekarma909 And your point is???

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Note to self: Packing peanuts are not supposed to be treated like real peanuts.

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

@stomachmutant

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Someone give me some hobbies - retirement is so boring.

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Unemployment sucks. I miss being a boisterous asshole and getting paid six figures for it.

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

*Will give amnesty in exchange for cheese puffs*

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

@rvaughanw @njdotcom @GovChristie Inflight peanuts. LOTS of peanuts.

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Thanks for screwing over my pet, asshats. https://t.co/2kVZVttFlj

[njdotcom @njdotcom]

Emotional support peacock denied entry on United flight out of Newark (VIDEO) https://t.co/DMIs7zgXj1

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Suck it, losers. https://t.co/jHMrQXWKp3

[Jennifer Epstein @jeneps]

ABC News has hired Chris Christie as a contributor, to be announced tomorrow morning https://t.co/gm88Ut4RZo

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Dream? https://t.co/2b2jpbhnV1

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Well it was a great run everyone. Thanks to all 13% of you who believed in me. I am pleased to announce that I am acquiring a corporate board position at @Hostess_Snacks.

Yes, they're paying me in food, not cash.

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

I AM GOING TO SQUASH YOU

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Shit just remembered I'm gonna be unemployed in a week

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Happy New Year everybody! May it be filled with all the junk food you can ever desire 🍥🍰🎂

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

A belated Merry Christmas to all of you! Don't feel guilty about how much you ate because it's a complete certainty that I ate more 😘

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

@JebJournal 🤗🤗🤗

[Alex v.2 @AlexIfBanned]

Currently in Italy and let's just say American pizza is *the* pizza now because these poor Italians didn't prepare enough food for my arrival.