Alexander Malt

Comedian, writer, director.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@Bruce_Lilly2 @NolanAnalyst I didn't realize all you guys have seen the movie already! Pretty cool Nolan gave you all a private screening so that you can enlighten us with your sage wisdom.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@CrimsonDesert_ So much ball licking for features that should have been in the game from the start. Can't wait for CD to get out of Beta.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@SynthPotato The only super power anyone named Kliff has and will ever have is making their own trail mix.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@Leotas_ @EAMaddenNFL @SpruceGooseTV It's part of their Halloween "Ghost Defenders" package. If you don't spend enough on micro transactions the ghost of John Madden can tackle you. Feature, not a bug.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

I didn't complain when @Disney murdered that woman then tried to bury it with an @DisneyPlus user agreement... But now they've come for my Monday Night Football.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@rsd4444 @Im_Just_SayingX @Disney @DIRECTV They're probably getting a kickback from getting people to sign up for Sling too. Disney is the worst.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@NBCOlympics Rappelling and driving a motorcycle with a flag on it is about as epic as Break Dancing was.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@StephenKing @TheGeneral_0 Stephen King for President! He's young and he's got some good ideas!

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

#justiceforjohnny

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

I'm voting for the worm that was in RFK's brain.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@NBCLA Run along side it and pull the guy out. What a waste of tax dollars and police that could otherwise be munching donuts and sending racist memes to each other.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@RepKweisiMfume How is figuring out if our President takes bribes wasting time? Trumps whole presidency was (mostly deserved) looking into shady dealings.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@santamonicacity @SantaMonicaPD @SMSpoke @SMBeachHouse Start by dealing with all the mental health issues living in their cars outside my house please.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@Ben_Chandler @smdailypress $500 for something they can make $1200 on? Someone on city council or the police department should take an economics course then get back to the people of Santa Monica.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@NFL Of course this kickoff will be fair caught and placed on the 25 yard line.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

The news needs to stop naming the killers and giving them a platform. All these articles should start with “A small dicked man with a gun…” and they’d stop overnight. @NBCNews

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@NBCNews Stop naming the killers and giving them a platform. Until you stop doing this you are complicit in this one and the next one. All articles should start with “A small dicked man with a gun…” and they’d stop overnight.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

I can tell you without a doubt that The Force does not exist. Telekinesis does not exist….That being said at least once a week I try to move something with my mind. Because it’s worth taking a minute out of the week to make sure magic doesn’t exist!

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

Judaism is like Godfather part one, it establishes a solid base. Christianity is Godfather two, a nice story about a son taking over the family business. And Scientology is Godfather three. It’s hardly related, makes no sense, and is clearly just a money grab.

[Alexander Malt @AlexMalt]

@netflix Already fist fighting?