lil.yumyum

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

I love my chosen family more than I can describe

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

I feel like things might be going well for me so naturally I also feel this impending doom or that I’m making it all up so yeah, life’s good I think

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

Do you ever crave a food you’ve never had before but you just know you’re going to love it and it’s all you can think about until you try it or is that just me

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

I just wrote my first ever letter to a home owner because I’m trying to buy their house and I want to vomit and cry at the same time 10/10 do not recommend this experience

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

@abzharris It doesn’t count if you don’t text me because you know I’ll say don’t do it

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

We’re visiting family and watching my husband play with all my baby cousins has me WEAK 😍

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

How’s my birthday been?

Well, I pulled a muscle in my back putting laundry away the night before and have spent the day living off advil.

So, that’s aging for you

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

Five months ago we called our apartment and told them our dishwasher was broken. They came a month later and said we needed a part.

Four months go by and today we called, they forgot, and then showed up with a brand new dishwasher???

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

Starting to look for a house is the most exciting yet nausea inducing thing I’ve ever done

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

@xsarahhw Completely normal feeling!!! Anyone who says otherwise is lying

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

I ordered a bridesmaids dress for a wedding in June. Shipping said 5-10 days. Now it says it’ll arrive in 40 days. What the actual fuck

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

Love that I’ve had my job for 3 months and already requested so much future PTO that I’m currently at -44 hours 😅

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

I always say I’m gonna quit my serving job and then I work one shift a month and clear $500….guess I’ll keep it a little longer 🤷🏻‍♀️

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

@_atlexxi You’d think that much consistency they’d be upping their average time 😂

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

Whoever said getting married gives you tax breaks is a liar- I filed jointly for the first time ever and our COMBINED return was $16. Life is a SCAM. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

One of my finest skills is my ability to hit ‘door close’ in an elevator so fast, no stragglers allowed in my lift

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

Update: I actually cried while eating it

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

I just woke up and can’t stop thinking about the bagel and coffee I’m about to get

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

We’re on our way to Aaron’s dads for Christmas and I’ve had 3 martinis and Aaron forgot where his dad lives

[lil.yumyum @Alex_Olsacher]

Someone explain how every time I go out for one drink I am the last mother fucker in the bar parking lot