alex

(paid actor not a real person) all tweets are ironic (unless it’s funnier if they aren’t)

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

“Do you ever think before you tweet?”

Yeah I think “man I’m so funny” and then I hit send.

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

Sometimes I have the urge to buy something just like anything so I go to the library and check out a book because it feels like I bought something but then after a while I’m like “wow I’ve saved so much money I should by myself something”

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

When I use GPS to get home I’ll sometimes tell Siri

“hey Siri….I’m going home”

Like Dakota Johnson, except Siri knows where I live

[High Yield Harry @HighyieldHarry]

20% ON THE EU, 34% ON CHINA, 46% ON VIETNAM, 24% ON JAPAN, 49% ON CAMBODIA, 25% ON SOUTH KOREA, 36% ON THAILAND, 47% ON MADAGASCAR, 38% ON GUYANA

[h(wan)g @letsrideflyhigh]

we used to be a proper country

[Jhonny ⚹٭ @JhonnyWhite69]

WHERE IS MY SPOTIFY WRAPPED

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

wasnt as funny as shane gills said it would be

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

@lydiajjade Great minds 🧠🌊

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

Y’all ever wish you could take your brain out rinse it off and put it back?

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

When I was 13 I was so worried and talked about the Russian annexation of Crimea as it was happening so much that my parents took away my tablet so I couldn’t look at the news

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

Wish I was the type of guy that knew what kind a tree is

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

@payne_spiva Retweet

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

Civil engineers in Oklahoma calculating how to keep traffic in your blind spot the entire way up every on ramp on i35

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

@payne_spiva

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

Starbucks barista made a better London Fog latte than the tea shop with vintage sofas and warm colored walls (devastated)

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

I have to get this off my chest

In the third grade I was beatbox battling this guy at the lunch table and I got absolutely demolished so instead of going to recess I hid in the woods behind the playground until class started because I was so devastated

[alex @Alex_Trujello]

This guy next to me is watching a compilation of memes with that Facebook squirrel laugh track. It’s been 10 minutes and he chuckles every time