The hype around Orcas irritates me because Orcas are just dolphins that hit puberty, joined a gang, and started cosplaying as apex predators. A 6-ton tuxedo disappointment. They harvest liver like it’s profound, organ trafficking piece of shits. We've been apex since their ancestors looked like oversized penguins. They travel in pods because they can't sit with their own thoughts. We swim solo, while they need twenty cousins to bully a seal. They attack boats now, unemployment arc. People scream when we arrive, but they say “awwwnn” when they do. Their dorsal fin looks stepped on, while ours is a warning. We survived five extinctions while they survive on PR.
“I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars. We are here. We are waiting.”
- Peter Cullen (1941 - 2026)
Doomsday arrives December 18th.
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