ur-mom

Deadass y'all should follow me on IG: vlexis.mvrie

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

There are only two reasons why I work out:

•To get a massive dump truck of an ass.
•To eat McDonald’s on a regular basis.

It’s called balance 👏

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

AAAAASSSHHHHHTRAAAAAAYYY

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

A lady tried to sell me tamales at the bar. Respect the hustle.

[Newegg @Newegg]

What if I told you, you could win a one-of-a-kind computer with @intelgaming 12th Gen i9-12900, and an @ASUS RTX 3080, just by typing in your information? We promise a white van or green tracksuits will not be involved. All you have to do is enter now.
https://t.co/3GExUMshLf

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

The masculine urge to shave your head to match your dad.

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

I lost the battle to get Spider-Man tickets.

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

I’m gonna feel TS album with my whole chest

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

Maya and the Three is a beautiful show that needs a lot more recognition.

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

You know what? Fuck Fastrack.

[𝓐 @alondrasanchez_]

I accidentally got fat as fuck

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

I’m 👌 close to moving where nobody knows me and starting a new life

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

When ya grandparents are manipulative and guilt-trip you because they want to use your car<<<

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

@mattswider Got it!!!!!

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

My lash client list is growing!

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

@MichelleKhare Did the brain cells not work hard enough for you to realize that was a terrible idea? This is a self-serving, half-assed apology. The bare minimum you should have done was ask them first. You made a mockery of a sensitive situation. Shame on you.

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

@TransMonarch Jenna Ellis sadly not Marbles

[ur-mom @AlexisAyap]

@pulte It would be nice so get some money to start my lashing business. I’m getting certified soon, but am in need of money for supplies.

[tom @pilau]

interviewer: why do you want this job

me: I need money to buy food