Alexis de Lucia

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

You know something’s off when the pretty version of Ursula in The Little Mermaid and the girl with the look/emotional range of a Polly Pocket are wearing cross necklaces but the virgin isn’t #projecting #TheBachelor #WYATR @ArdenMyrin @annahossnieh

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

@annahossnieh @ArdenMyrin Guess who was in my open mic the other day? After I looked up his Insta and he put COMEDIAN as his profession! This is the creepiest photo I’ve ever taken but I thought photo evidence was essential for hard hitting journalism #WYATR

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Waiting on the release of Jed’s new single “I’m probably mr wrong...girl” #TheBachloretteFinale #thebachelotette #wyatr @ArdenMyrin @annahossnieh

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

The republicans celebrate this week as they confirm Judge Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court by marking their detailed calendars, drinking beer, and gang raping lady liberty. Hey, they named it the Grand Ol Party for a reason. #ILikeBeer #Kavanagh #SCOTUS #Help

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Republicans gain control of the third and final branch of government this week by confirming Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court. Now, I’m not positive on the rules of the game devil’s triangle but I’m pretty sure we’re playing it.#Kavanaugh #SCOTUS #allthingscomedy #help

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

I do more people watching on whale watching tours than actual whales.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

There's a limit as to how good you can be at French braiding before people start questioning if you are Mormon.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Couples who dive in for kisses tongue first in public really should be stopped.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Why do people think gluten free = healthier? It's not healthier, it just doesn't have gluten in it.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Nothing kills a good hair day like wind.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Snapchat is the dumbest form of flirting.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Reading an essay by Geertz with a sectioned titled "Of Cocks and Men"#nojokeneeded

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Thank you for smoking upwind of my newly washed hair. Now I get to think of you every time I move my head for the next two days.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Got asked out by 3 guys tonight and then was canceled on by 3 guys tonight. So even when you win some, you promptly then loose them.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

I don't know if I feel safer or more at risk when I walk by a police station.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

There is a guy on the bus wearing a police uniform. Not sure if he is a stripper or an actual police officer.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

There's a very fine line between charming and stalker.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

Daniel Tosh I no good.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

So this is what the Book of Eli feels like.

[Alexis de Lucia @AlexisdeLucia]

You know you are a liberal when almost everything you know about the bible, you learned in Art History class.