Alex Smith

pop, chips, and parents.

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Learn to see beauty in things that aren't beautiful

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Calling the fire dept for permission to smoke your brisket on the long weekend

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Not turning the furnace on yet: +$300

Wearing an extra pair of socks: free

My girlfriend constantly complaining about being cold: fuck

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

One beer, one toke, and one hot tub.

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

“And on your left you’ll see the 407 where we have the mass migration of UPS drivers at the end each day”

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

You either quit while you’re green, or stay long enough to become the “living the dream” team.

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

With the way these past few years have gone I can only imagine the Hadron Collider is about to accidentally open a blackhole on Earth

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

The societal urge to forgo all financial wisdom and drive a fancy car in your 20s

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

I feel like I can see sounds today

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Why do we pet our pets? What came first? The pets or the petting?

[Dream @Dream]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! lots of love :)

[Ryan Ken @Ryan_Ken_Acts]

It’s wild to me that people hate masks so much. I will likely never breathe raw airport air ever again. I’ll never have unprotected inhalation in the grocery store either.

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Crazy I can sit at the lounge bar and drink myself silly and then hop on the plane and become the “designated rescue helper” simply because they assigned me the escape seat???!
Good luck to all.

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Send in Hank the Tank.

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Days like today make me truly realize how good we have it in Canada. Count your blessings, keep Ukraine in your thoughts.

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

We got em.

Wordle 237 4/6

⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜
🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜
🟨🟨🟨🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Can we do the reduce the price of diesel convoy next?

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Investing as many $0.25 coins as possible into shopping carts as an inflation hedge.

[Alex Smith @Alexsmlth]

Brn quitting my career to spend more time with my dogs (and cat, fish and turtle)

[Hutch @hutchinson]

I’m not sure who made this but whoever you are I hope you had a good day