Alf

76% nerd, 27% cheese 🎧🍕😎🐧🎸🚒🎭🎫🏓🍺🎅🏾✊🏽🧬 Some sort of clown 🤡 Quizmaster (@QuizoticMirth), Wordplayer(@rhymes_un) check my other projects & pages👇🏽

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

Part 2: Edinburgh gags
Courtesy of pun legend @MasaiGraham, 3 time best joke winner to who I am eternally grateful

Only my 3rd ever performance
Entirely fresh jokes. The first one was done in 12 hours, this was the fruit of 12 months!

https://t.co/WVShjK3RUT

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@david__blowie The support heartworms is incredible

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@SkintyalFia I hate when it's an album celebration/anniversary show and they don't do it in full. Extra songs after is fine, but we want the classic in its entirety please

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@RupertLowe10 This will be great for undertakers
Those who go fast in the left lane and those who drive hearses

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@BlocParty Aren't there bandmates, producers, managers, label interns etc to point it out before this gets a release???? Were they all on holiday?

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@_8353366099111 @The_TUC No he doesn't. He was happy to dish it out and only withdraws when it affects him.

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@Pelagius737 @Reuters You're a horrible cunt, aren't you?
The success of white Europeans you claim is despite you, not because

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@oelma__ 2016
Trump mocking reporters and thick brits voting for brexit

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@Crater114 Anti car barriers would’ve been pointless hundreds of years ago

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@BoyGeorge @I_amMukhtar By completely untrue, Georgie boy means that Mukhtar learned of it in 2009??

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@seanmatthewsRUK Shut up you fucking melt. Never happy, always find something to moan about. The police are able to adapt to changes, and to occasionally send a team outside of the city to protect one of their key charges whilst he tries to drive change with the london centric power base is fine

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@Doctorshok57 @fasc1nate You dumb fuck
The president either side of him was an actual rapist

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@Rainmaker1973 Less than 0.01% of the water wasted just on the american beef habit

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@JackHadders He’s not authorised to speak on behalf of the force to two feral shouting wankers who drove in from hours away to agitate

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@sqrtminus_1 Is your phone broken?

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@SpartacusUK73 @ValentinaForUSA Wind it in, you fucking pervert

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@ValentinaForUSA Sounds like they closed their borders

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@ValentinaForUSA @JoeyMannarino @TRobinsonNewEra just you and similar cunts

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@JoeyMannarino @TRobinsonNewEra they have an anti-cunt rule
similarly USA, which enshrines free speech in its constitution, bar foreigners for the same reason

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@PrabhdeepReform this is a betrayal of the poor woman whose abuser was locked up last week and your entire community
and then you list a bunch of values that are the antithesis of reform
deluded idiot

[Alf @AlfEyyyy]

@implausibleblog lock the nonce up