AlfredENeuman

I help run a world famous humor magazine! It makes me so MAD that I can't think of the title right now; but it's real famous!

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

All down long in NYC the TV keeps saying, a blizzard is coming, but all I see is an awful lot of snow. And, oh yeah, a lot of wind.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I'm not sure if I should be worried or not, but I'm now up to taking 7 placebo pills a day. They seem to cure whatever I imagine I have, so I guess I'll keep taking them.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

Saw this online: "Fake Gifts, Real Consequences: Expert Warns Shoppers Ahead of the Holidays." No worries here, but I can't wait for my $$ Rollex Watch & my Tiffinknee Silver ID bracelet.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

Sorry I've been away for a while. I've been posting on X for a long time now, basically just posting O's, thinking Twitter had been replaced with an online Tic Tac Toe game. I see now they let you use words, so I'll try that soon.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

Do what I do. DON'T set your clocks back an hour. That way the sun will have to stay bright for that extra hour!

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

OMG, the December issue of MAD has 20+ new pages of material!

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

Wow, that old proverb 'measure once, cut twice' works better than that! I measured once and had to cut five times! Those old pro's knew their verbs.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I have a big bath towel, but what kind of soap should I bring to the big meteor shower Sunday night?

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

Wow, looks who's doing an interview. I hope he mentions me!

[Dick DeBartolo @thegizwiz]

"Ike Eisenmann from Disney's Witch Mountain movies, & author, Jonathan Rosen, take you on a trip down Memory Lane." I join them on 1 of those trip & it was great fun. Those guys know and love MAD!
https://t.co/ElMjgSMuwS

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I don't get what the people in the tri-state area are talking about. I stared up the sky for hours yesterday & I didn't see one earthquake!

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I'm excited about seeing the eclipse today, but I'm going to wait until tomorrow when the park isn't so crowded. I'll probably be able to get a better view.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I see a lot stories about AI and I'm very interested. But no where can I find out if AI is Gluten-Free. I don't see it in stores yet, so I can't check the label. Anybody know?

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I backed up my entire computer today! So now it's flat against the wall, nothing can get out, or in!

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I don't get those 'memories of the day' that keep coming up on my computer. One day I hope to see something I've never done before!

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

Valentine's Day, so I'm off to the zoo to spend time with my significant otter.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I was gonna watch the Souper Bowl, but then I thought, "Hey, I had soup for lunch!" so I didn't.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I don't understand why there's so much fuss lately about AI. It's a sauce for steak that's been around for years. Why feel threatened by it now? I'm not.

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

Wow!! I just got a great deal. 76% Off a bright red Christmas ornament storage box! I saved enough money buy a couple of ornaments to put it it too!

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I keep hearing about the doom and gloom and extreme power of AI. But who is this guy, Al. And why does he have so much power to fear?

[AlfredENeuman @AlfredENeuman]

I was boiling water in my microwave when I set the clock back an hour. OMG, the boiling water froze!