Ali Mae✌🏼

I have no idea what I’m doing

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Not only is this why I’m single, but this is also why @jazzyj024 and I can’t drink together

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Help us celebrate camp Kaleta!!!

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Has anyone explained how light as a feather, stiff as a board worked? At 26 years old the only explanation I’ve got is witchcraft.

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

@rach_sucks 212 baby and before you ask, yes I am depressed and I do hyper fixate.

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Finally met a bunch of my coworkers tonight and one told me she’s been dying to try on my “coke bottle glasses” so it was really nice meeting them

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Said something about a bag while waiting for my burrito tonight and the guy next to me goes “fuck me, you’re from Wisconsin aren’t you?” Which set off a chain reaction of Midwestern commenting.

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Hinge allowing me to hear people’s voices before I decide if I like them immediately gives me the ick.

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

@Adventuree_Time

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Jake’s birthday is the upcoming events,

[Imani Gandy is at BlueSky Now @AngryBlackLady]

Imagine if California passed a law banning firearms and outsourced enforcement to the public. If you catch a person with a firearm, you sue them and if you win you get 10K. Sure it violates the constitution but *shrug*

That's what's happening with abortion in Texas right now.

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

@jazzyj024 I thought you meant dunkin a basketball at first

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Y’all Jake told me he was recreating Chick-fil-A breakfast at home because he got too high to realize today was Saturday and not Sunday. BAHAHA

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

If I ever ask for a book recommendation and you give me a self growth book, we’re done. Don’t talk to me.

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

@rach_sucks I forced all of my Madison friends to learn and play this non stop.

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Kelli just finished reading philosophers stone and texted me “Omg I can’t believe it was quirrell”.... I personally have watched the movie with her twice and I know she’s seen it with others.... wtf

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

@laceaye That’s nice

[ThornyOpinion @OpinionThorny]

Proposal:

You can only purchase a gun one time every two years. It can only be a Tuesday in November. You must go and wait in line. There is only one place in your county. You must have multiple forms of ID. No one can give you water while you wait.

[Ali Mae✌🏼 @AliSmith_20]

Today my mom called Amazon, “the Amazon site”. If you need me, I’ll be speaking to my therapist about this.

[Mohamad Safa @mhdksafa]

Why when Jesus talks about feeding the poor, it’s christianity. But when a politician talks about feeding the poor, it’s socialism?

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

If you watch anything today...

[tracey helton mitchell MPA 🏹 @traceyh415]

Real cancel culture is getting locked up for a petty drug case, being too poor to get lawyer, having your public defender convince you to agree to a felony. Then society tell you where you can live, whether or not you can vote & what jobs you can hold for the rest of your life.