Allie Caldwell

My pinky toes are Irish, my left foot is Italian, the right is German... I wish I could be a Shakespeare reciting pirate.

[Nicole Auerbach @NicoleAuerbach]

Kylie Kelce’s commitment to never wearing actual Chiefs gear is my favorite thing about her.

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Just saw @argyllemovie which I loved. But wouldn’t you know, somehow the 1st movie I see in over 6 months mentions “terroir”
I can’t escape it. I can’t. I hear that word for the first time during a niche law class in 2016, & NOW IT’S FOLLOWING ME!
Very entertaining movie, though.

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

I don’t know why the #NFL still uses on field refs. The number of atrocious, unforgivable calls/non-calls since the beginning of the season is mind-boggling. I’m pissed beyond reason for Cooper and the @Browns, and this isn’t even my team! I’m gonna be fuming all week.

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Legit question, b/c TBH, I don't watch enough college football to know... the commentator keeps referring to #OhioState as the "world-famous Buckeyes." Does the rest of the world care enough about non-pro American football for them to be that well known? #OrIsThatBiasImHearing?

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Yo @NFLonFOX @NFLonCBS
I'm sure this is shocking to you, but there isn't a fan-containment area around Philly. There are lots of us elsewhere who want to see our team play. I know I can't have tons of games being out of market, but can't I have a few/year? @Eagles #everydamnweek

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

@gailcarriger My last car was The Queen Anne's Revenge (aka Queenie). Current car is The Royal Fortune (aka Roy).

[Gail Carriger @gailcarriger]

Writer's block: when your imaginary friends unfriend you.

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Books, candles, blankets, sweatshirts, athletic leggings, mugs, blank notebooks, wine corks, waterbottles

[Gail Carriger @gailcarriger]

If you were a dragon what would be your hoard?

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

@gailcarriger During the pandemic, I decided to handwrite letters to friends that I mostly hadn't talked to since we graduated college. One wrote back and recommended "Soulless," writing the entire letter somewhat mimicking Alexia's voice!
I read all the books and we continue to write!

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Yo, what's up with these refs? It's like the year the refs struck and we had those awful replacements all over again. #MINvsPHI #FlyEaglesFly

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

I did indeed proceed to play a shit-ton of @springsteen music. Now, my husband will turn Springsteen on for himself. Today, I bought us tickets to our first Springsteen concert. Very excited since my family is coming from out of state to go too! See you in the CLE, Bruce!

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Boyfriend convinced that "Blinded by the Light" was only covered by @springsteen & that he didn't write it/make it famous. Refuses to believe me or Google. Am now on a mission to play nothing but Springsteen at all times BF is awake & home for next month. So that was my Sunday...

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Husband tries to ban me from buying candles, but doesn't bat an eye when I say I'm going to take myself to the bookstore. I don't think husband understands the cost of books v candles, that books don't get used up and disposed of, or # of unread books I currently own. 🤷‍♀️

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Steve: We have a Twitter account, right?
Me: *I* have a Twitter.

I guess my husband thinks that marriage means all non-duplicate social media accounts become common property?
#getyourown

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Dear @cavs #rocketmortgagefieldhouse
That was the driest, stalest soft pretzel I've ever eaten. My jaw hurts.

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

I've never seen anyone as strongly opposed to anything in the world as my husband is opposed to having an eye exam.

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

I love Lord Akeldama's endearments to Alexia and, as such, I will now only respond to the endearment "gherkin." #thecustardprotocol

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Steve got me Bluetooth headphones for Christmas. I have one in while I'm cleaning. He's doing a project. I have the 90s Top100 station on @SIRIUSXM playing in my ear & started singing to myself, as I do. Steve's doing all the Ahh + random background vocalizations. #Torn was funny

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Husband started playing a video game he got for Christmas. I just described apparently main antagonist as "goblin king David Bowie dressed like a Mirkwood elf" and said "I'm here for it." Husband started laughing & is super amused.

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

@Scleibfreid Same here

[Allie Caldwell @Alifredson]

Steve just walked away mutter-singing "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." I'm over here going WTF?

Turns out, it's a jingle from an #almondjoy & #mounds commercial from years ago that I never knew existed. 😆