Elize

I’m a Switch gamer. I like to write. You should do things that make you happy because there’s already too much crap in life that you have to do. I’m also weird.

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

#PokemonCafeMix add an egg?

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz I couldn’t interpret them myself since I lack in knowledge about Japanese culture, yes I probably know a little more than average Joe since I’ve read books with stories from Japanese mythology but that’s more or less it. I’m into reading random mythology books lol.

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz If you do read up on interpretations online then you learn things about Japanese culture,but it can be disturbing at the same time,just a fair warning. I can still enjoy the movies myself without thinking about it, but I know some people can’t see them the same after they do that

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

This plus trust issues is why I don’t have any friends that I regularly talk to. Right now I’m so isolated irl (because of health issues) that some weeks I only interact with one person, the cleaning lady. I don’t want to be a bother to anyone since I can’t do much of anything.

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

#socialanxiety 🤐

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

But hey, I do it anyway because if I don’t do anything then I’ll be stuck with it. One day I might even be able to talk to people. I mean I do still occasionally do that, but only once I start feeling comfortable around them.

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

Me: *watches horror movies for the laughs, silly people pinhead’ll get you* 😏

Also me: *sees poster for the Detective Pikachu movie* EEK! 😱

Yeah I don’t know why I find certain things creepy when they probably shouldn’t be either 🤷‍♀️

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz Dad always puts a T-shirt on when going out in public even though he doesn’t always wear one around the house and yard, looks sloppy to me when people don’t.
He also doesn’t like that my skirts and dresses are “too short” despite me wearing leggings because overprotective dad 😅

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz I think it might work as long as you don’t have to sit down yes 🤔 but there’s a reason I always wear leggings of some kind, to avoid accidental flashing of underwear 😐 it’s very windy where I live 😅

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz Sometimes during summer I think that since women have to wear tops men should as well, loooots of hairy old men with beer bellies in just sandals and tiny shorts in public 😑🤪😂

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz They take a lot of time and concentration and I’m also making the pattern on my own so I don’t always have that kind of patience.

Already made Tangy though, she’s a sweetheart 😽

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz Imagine humans walking around with nothing but shirts on 🤔😬

Sheep in Animal Crossing look so fluffy though, I don’t like them covering up the wavy pattern by putting a shirt on them. One day I’ll finish my crocheted Muffy, it’s just that I’m using crocodile stitches...

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz But I’m not ever having that nightmare fuel in my towns or on my islands <_<;

Getting Muffy again though would make me jump with joy ^-^ But other than nightmare fuel there I don’t really dislike any other villagers 🤔
Yes I’m scared of clowns, also smurfs 🤷‍♀️

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

@SquishyPixelz Yes I will do that and hope that they have them in this lame country (they didn’t have Doraemon Story Of Seasons anywhere!) or order from https://t.co/bXgh1n0W6d like I had to do with that game I mentioned. After that one hour cutscene at the beginning it’s actually really fun.

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

Just a frightened little girl that doesn’t understand what’s going on. I’m so alone. I’m so alone.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
It’s all my fault.
Please forgive me.

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

Going to go see my psychiatrist tomorrow. So yeah, exactly how fucked up in the head am I? Doubt I’ll find out still.

Also no therapy yet, I’m starting to think never, because I didn’t get it before so why would that change?

I’ll just have to deal with my resurfacing memories.

[Elize @AlizeLotus]

On my own.

I don’t want them! I want the blackouts to stay blank! I don’t need my childhood! I don’t know how to deal with them!

All I’ve ever been told is to just not think about them. I’ve tried okay!? But it’s not thoughts, it’s like I’m just suddenly back there and I’m...