The Poopmaster

Everybody does it. No one talks about it. No longer!

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Resurrected this account so I could tell the world that @BurgerKing 's Halloween Whopper, did in fact help me culminate a #GreenPoop .

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

@insidedog - sorry to say, but the stall is occupied.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Ah, #pebblepoop. The sheer amont of splashback makes you wish you had a #bidet.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

If you're really lucky, sometimes a #garlicpoop smells just like a bad Italian joint. #mangia!

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Best. #fart. Ever.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Ever have a poop where the evacuation is so intense your feet feel like you landed from a 10ft fall? No? Ok, guess I'd better go to the ER.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

How does one have a #perfectpoop after a night of drinking? #onlygodknows.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

#steaktips and @pabstblueribbon consummated last night and had a poop baby, born this morning at 10:51am. 8lbs, 4oz. Oof.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Just found http://t.co/Y5KANMZDiZ. Mind (and colon) blown. #poopeverywhere

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Get the plunger - I've done it again. Also, get the mop. #poopwater

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Monday morning #constipation? Just put on Snoop's "Drop It Like It's Hot" to get those bowels moving. Out like a Lion, #fosho. #musicmonday

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

When possible, #poop on company time. Think of the money you'll save on tp alone, say nothing of the extra break you'll get.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Morning after drinking = #dumpsterbutt.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

This afternoon's #turbopoop was brought to you by: @tacobell. (the lettuce was still easily discernable)

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Nothing like a #perfectpoop - 30 secs, no straining, no explosion, no odor, 1 wipe w/no mess, and no clogging. I credit the #chinesetakeout.

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

Why is it that every time I eat @SUBWAY, regardless of the sandwich, my colon explodes exactly 67 minutes later? #loosestools

[The Poopmaster @AllAboutPoop]

@DesireeCrossley - Yay! I made my first tweet while pooping!