All Pro Lines

Original football stuff written by professional comedians.

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Desperate to shore up their defense, Gaza trades for Myles Garrett.

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@AdamSchefter @MikeReiss

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@AdamSchefter @tyschmit

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We need #NFL players to stop getting arrested. The league calendar is now: Combine, Arrests, Free Agency, Arrests, Draft, Arrests, OTAs…

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@RapSheet

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@AdamSchefter @Michael_Fabiano

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@BobsFunGirl ❤️🥹✌🏼

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The Niners will play in Australia on Sept 11, which will be live here in America on Sept 10. They’ll get a glimpse into the future and see that they won’t make the playoffs.

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Aaron Rogers says he’ll retire after this season. And by “season” he means the Week 4 ankle injury.

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Deshaun Watson has hit it off with Todd Monken. It’s all fun and games until Watson grabs Monken’s hand and puts it down his pants.

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@AdamSchefter

[All Pro Lines @AllProLines]

Aaron explained that he chose the number 8, because the infinity symbol was already taken by his ego.