Allen Teems

Stand-Up Comedy, Writer

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

Tournament of Topics at the Globe Athens. 11/24/24. I made it to the semi-finals. This is round one.

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

Tournament of Topics at the Globe Athens. 11/24/24. I made it to the semi-finals. This is Round Two. It was a tricky one.

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@elonmusk That ugly ass truck couldn’t drive through a flat field so now they just throw shit at it.

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@moneelove300 @IanMCohen @JTTalkingPoints @debc17593354 🤣 So who’s the savior that your upset didn’t get elected? Who fixes the problem?

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@AspectNexus @NydxkPols @DLG081874 @h0tdam @debc17593354 @CAmyBluePearl A Republic is a type of democracy, like a Bronco is a type of ford. Hope this information helps you say less stupid shit on the internet.

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@moneelove300 @IanMCohen @JTTalkingPoints @debc17593354 What are you then?

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@JohnnyCuriale @debc17593354 @Grainsalt1 Does supporting Biden really endanger you and your family?

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@MAGA_set @kylegriffin1 🤣

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@AKBrews Not dying of heat stroke is woke af

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@JohnParish1776 @piper4missouri 🤣 Well, they are rampant child molesters, John, so it’s curious that you find that normal. Do you molest children too, John?

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@JonsMarketingLA @yashar 😂 You deserve more credit for this. Kudos.

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@haymes_joshua Why do so many of you Christians molest children? Pedophilia and child molestation are utterly rampant in the Christian church. Why do you think that is, since you’re all so pious?

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@MesoAmerican60 @TheSWPrincess 🤣

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@MikeGeeNY00 🤣

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@4genKrabitt 🤣 Why make up some bullshit like this?

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@JudiciaryGOP 🤣 You grifters need to log off after that nonsense. Christ, what an utter lack of self-awareness.

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@BoeserJanet @spursnut @RobSchneider I pay taxes, and I don’t have a problem with it. I went to college, and I don’t have a problem with it. So far, I only see whiny idiots upset about this. And that’s ok. I like it when whiny idiots are upset.

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@DustinDO13 @NancySinatra @B52Malmet Learn to swim.

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@HerschelWalker @ReverendWarnock Can someone take Hershel’s crayons away and explain to him state vs federal funding?

[Allen Teems @AllenTeemsCmdy]

@RepMTG No, you weren’t. You’re a compulsive liar.