Allen Lyster

Somewhere on the edge of nowhere

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

@BrianRoemmele I seen that in Olancha (Perfection) California once. It wasn't good. @kevinbacon #graboid #tremors #assblaster #olancha #film #TheGlory

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

I got the @TigNotaro spot with the @SklarBrothers at the @RoastBattle tonight at @Jaminthevan.

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

California is a Cheech and Chong movie right now.
#BayArea #cheechandchong #life #trump #biden #beeroclock #cray #fires

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

@marcmaron ekoW

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

Instead of the purge. How about we just turn off everyone's autocorrect for 24 hours. I know I would have fewer freinds at the end of it.

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

With it being over a year into this pandemic and social distancing has anyone even took a minute to ask how the pickpockets are doing? #supportsmallbusiness #ableg #9News #AcademicTwitter

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

Is there anywhere in the rule book that says you have to drive from the driver's seat? Or is any seat you can drive from the driver's seat? Asking for a friend.
#beeroclock #askacop #NASCAR #jokes #hashtag #life

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

@JamarNeighbors Let it be by @ComedienneMsPat.

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

I was listening to @steveo on a podcast today. He sounds like a Tasmanian devil that got his shit together.
#love #funny #AppleMusic #steveo #life #beeroclock #90DayFianceHappilyEverAfter

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

Start acting your hairline.

#COVID19 #life #debate #coronavirus #fun #silly #Crypto #comedy #rtept

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

I stepped on a pile of 2020 today.

#twentytwenty #beeroclock #life #moveforward #cray #iseentit #love #trump #biden

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

California is a Cheech and Chong movie right now.
#BayArea #cheechandchong #life #trump #biden #beeroclock #cray #fires

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

I've been sell my bumpers for gas money broke.
#life #money #Soldout #bestbuy #Walmart

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

I remember a time when all I had to worry about was making sure the @Ron_White Tater Salad album was clean before our weekly road trip to visit my mom in jail.

#life #itsthesmallthings #ronwhite #jailtime #jokes #mommy #lifeflow

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

I hope trump bands that dumb app TikTok... I have shit to do.
#FirstWorldProblems #trump #china #rona #2020GlobalARMYSong #

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

Todays @icecube birthday and in his song It Was a Good Day he said "will I live another 24?". Well.. he's lived another 245,337 happy birthday Mr.Cube.

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

Thank God! https://t.co/AkTGqSXzuE

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

#boyslockeroom #COVID19 #willisraburu #EON

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

@Ron_White how is no one talking about your joke the Tiger king used?
https://t.co/zKb8L0brJU

[Allen Lyster @Allenlyster]

A little poem I put a lot of thought into during this quarantine. I hope you find joy in my art.

Roses are red April is gay.

Thank you.

#aprilpoem #poetry #poem #gaydontmeangay #fightme #life #tweetaboutit #StayAtHomeAndStaySafe