Allie Altschuler

The realtor for people who cringe at the word realtor. Insanely lucky to work with the finest people in Los Angeles.

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

@Jessica_StClair if you’re still in SMA this weekend, please hit me up. Deep Dive devotee black tie wedding had several last minute dropouts- inviting you as my guest. Or the calle! Or both!

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

#shayne from @LoveisBlindShow looks like Jake Busey’s fetal twin drowned in toxic waste but somehow survived and raised itself

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

deleting your email without reading for my mental health

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

I’m at the bargaining stage of traffic

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

fellow white women, you don’t have to say things like “he left this earthly plane.” you can just say “he died.”

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

quick question for adults who “wake up and journal”
are you fucking serious?

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

If you’re an overwhelmed person trying to save money, put a dollar in a jar every time you go, “Ah fuck, I forgot about that.”

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

@GavinNewsom @MayorOfLA by appt only tattoo shops that consistently exceed dept of health standards are safer places to be than drs/dentists offices or grocery stores. Please help, these are important, specialized, careful artists

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

@GavinNewsom tattoo shops that have always followed strict health/safety regulations/procedures are a much safer place to be than outdoor dining, etc. 1 client at a time by appt only makes them as safe as dr.’s offices.

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

@govAndyBeshear @djaycameron @danielcameronag
@repjohnyarmuth @senatemajldr The men who murdered #BREONNATAYLOR need to be charged as what they are: murderers. No pension, no special treatment. Arrest all of them NOW. Constituents will not forget ur egregious failure if you don’t

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

Pasadena residents and patrons of Zona Rosa Caffe: Save Zona Rosa Caffe - Sign the Petition! https://t.co/nvgZpmpoRd via @Change @IndiePas @PasPlayhouse @ePasadenaNow @PasStarNews @PasadenaGov

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

@fortunefunny listening to you on @peteholmes podcast- how about Inside the Box as a name? I like Rule Follower btw.

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

This is a MAN. This is what being a man can mean

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

Real swoon-worthy moments happening in this… https://t.co/5JUVX816cQ

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

I down with rough but not at the fucking dentist.

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

@the_arielwhite is one of our very special guests at this year’s production of… https://t.co/ryzEknsNVI

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

wellchildorg is one of vday_studio_city ‘s primary beneficiaries- they’re the single largest… https://t.co/2nht0M1pRh

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

#regram The Gigi 2 is just one of the incredible pieces donated to vday_studio_city ‘s The… https://t.co/YsfgnElN7C

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

@marcmaron I was at the 9pm @ the ice house last night, front row to your left (little jew/long dark hair/glasses/leather jacket/beside the v. tattooed handsome guy in glasses) I have a proposal for you. Can we chat?

[Allie Altschuler @AllieAltschuler]

Broken systems will come to an end. Burn it the fuck down, and begin again. #fuckthepatriarchy… https://t.co/05NgjBiEOu