Alli Goff

bleep blorp bleep

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@shelbyfero: "Well I think I've had one too FEW!" - really funny alcoholism joke” @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@KaseyAnderson: Guy Fieri on tukey: "This is the state bird of Flavortown." I hate him.” @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

@BryleighShea lololololol

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@DearAnyone: "Have some fucking dignity." - Other birds to seagulls” @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@jenstatsky: No sadder sound than a human being repositioning themselves on an air mattress.” @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

@BryleighShea “@cornlog: It's a fine line between an alcoholic & someone who's always celebrating something.”

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

@BryleighShea “@clarkekant: A glass of water, compliments of the creepy guy with no money over there in that dark corner...”

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@parker287: If we get a booth at Applebee's, get ready to be proposed to. I'm a romantic.” @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

@bobpowers1 Everything looks stupid if you do it shouting into your cell phone about what a bitch Karen was at your birthday @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@robdelaney: R: "Who ate all the breadsticks?!" BREADSTICK BILLY: "Not me." R: "Who are you?" BREADSTICK BILLY: "My name is… Steven."”

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

@LIFECOACHERS @BryleighShea

[Pauly Casillas @PaulyCasillas]

A girl on Facebook posted about how she sprained her toe, and I didn't comment on how I hope it wasn't her camel toe, because I'm an adult.

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

@MrsRupertPupkin Cant wait to change my Facebook profile pic to me being horizontally lifted by my future husbands groomsmen! @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@lafix: The early bird may get the worm, but odds are that the worm is on a walk of shame.” @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@shelbyfero: Please, call me "Shelby." "Disappointed" is my father.” @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@bazecraze: If you like drunk girls in really high heels, you may also be attracted to newborn ponies.” @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@BryleighShea: "@rachow: I was never a cheerleader, but if I was, I'm sure I would've been a base :(" @Allig31” @sarahkat33

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

Liz: I'm feeling pretty drunk.
Jack: Well, it's business drunk, it's like rich drunk. Either way, it's legal to drive. @BryleighShea

[Alli Goff @Allig31]

“@InSoOutSo: The Queen looks like a Peep.”@BryleighShea