Mallory Neal

I got two hands, one beating heart & I'll be all right

[Dave Ramsey @DaveRamsey]

You are the Secret Sauce of your destiny and success. NOT politicians. YOU are responsible for your failure and your success.

[Mallory Neal @AllorymaNeal]

@kmillsky Trump would probably agree

[Mallory Neal @AllorymaNeal]

@Braves21094 😂 remind you of anyone? https://t.co/R9MNorGlTf

[50 Shades of Awkward @OhWowThatsAwk]

emailing professors like

me: *polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar*

professor: “sure” -sent from my iPhone

[B @SassyNurseB]

I wish I was on a beach

[FLMedStudent @FLMedStu]

People watching is all fun and games until the person you're watching notices you and makes it weird

[BFF @YrBFF]

Now watch me Nae Nae https://t.co/nhmDX9syZy

[Mallory Neal @AllorymaNeal]

@SMiles0203 Tacos. Always.💁🏼

[Shelbie @SMiles0203]

If you're not watching #SNL40 you should be

[Women's Humor @womenshumor]

Suddenly quitting my job to be an Uber X driver is seeming like not the worst idea.