AlmostBelievableNews

Almost Believable News – A news source you can’t believe in. Because satire.

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

The call to destroy the pyramids in Egypt has once again surfaced due the protests around the world. One person tweeted: "They were made by slaves right? Pull them down!" #CancelPyramids @timcast @triggerpod

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

We've known for a long time that a "fist bump" was a sign of the toxic male but now the @ADL has finally recognised it as the hate symbol it is. Also, if you "blow it up", you're a terrorist. #adl #antifa #SocialJustice #CancelWords

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Make the Left Great Again (MLGA - Muh La Ga) hat the only hope left for the Democrats in US? #MLGA #Democrat #Vote2020 #MAGA2020

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Dentists pledge to send any wisdom teeth they remove to Donald Trump. It's worth a try, right? 🤔🤔🤔

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

@w4stedspace God added the sepia filter.

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

#WhyImStillSingleIn4Words masturbation is fucking fun!

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Jacob Rees-Mogg does wonders for the outsiders view of Summerset as a backwater full of yokels living in the past. #tellhimheswrong

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

We discover the real reason it took DJT days to condemn the KKK. He just couldn't remember if he liked their food or not! #Charlottesviille

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

America officially pulls out of the #ParisAgreement with the quote: "We don't live in Paris, duh!"

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

The possible new section for "Twatted" tweets is not to go ahead. Sadly, we soon realised it would be dominated by one big Twatter.

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Past tense of "Tweeted" should be "Twatted"? Or does this only apply to certain tweets? A new section where we highlight certain Twats?

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

New research details why idiots will always win. The answer? They just have more stamina! 💪💪💪

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Merkin sales are on the rise! Does this mean the bush is back? BREAKING: No emoji for 'bush'! #TwitterCensorship

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Spoiler warning! #GoT first ep kept to it brilliant formula of nothing really happening but promising exciting stuff will happen! Soon! ⏲️⏳

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Our first ever story on Trump's wall being invisible is true? https://t.co/Il8bhqpHYi 😖🔫😖🔫😖🔫😖🔫

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

The great #RepealBill will give the #brexiteers just what they wanted! All those EU laws! Next we'll be keeping human rights! 👎

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Breaking?: #DonaldTrumpJr LEEKS (or leaks if not a Trump)! Well, you'd cry too with his dad! 🚱

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

The reviews of ABN News are piling in. Here's what people have to say: "I've seen worse." "I almost smiled." "There's worse crap on YT."

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

The emergency broadcast system has now been replaced by Twitter. If you see a tweet by POTUS declaring war on N. Korea, it's just a test.

[AlmostBelievableNews @AlmostBNews]

Many British MPs refuse to #BringYourDogToWorkDay in case they are found to be more competent. Meanwhile cats continue to lord it over.