Alyssa Cooper

Author, poet, performer, and crazy cat lady extraordinaire. | Belleville, ON | Profile photo by @garrettelliott

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

I call bullshit on The Matrix Reloaded's Zion dance party. If a city founded by computer hackers danced, they'd 100% dance like this.

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

Today I was doing dishes while headbanging to Lunchbox and I realized that all the old metal heads at the concerts I went to as a teen probably had to do dishes too, and the cognitive dissonance cannot be reconciled.

[MegLavDC @MegLavDC]

My husband just made a good point. He said "I don't even know why they're talking about removing him, they should be arresting him."

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

This just in - any hoodie can double as a wearable cat hammock. 😻

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

If you preferred Don Bluth to Disney, you're probably depressed now.

[Seth Rogen @Sethrogen]

They did this shit on Saturday so we could get fuuuuuuuuuucked up.

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

Trump's loss is official, which means I can go back to shit talking centrist trash the way God intended 💕

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

My mom, calling from a local thrift store: Did you need any Christmas decorations this year?

Me, neck deep in planning Krampus Christmas: Black garlands, plastic chains, red lights, and goat heads - the more demonic the better.

My mom: ...okay?

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

*cackles maniacally*

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

So ridiculous. Donald must work on his Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Donald, Chill!

[Ricky Davila @TheRickyDavila]

It’s crazy how 300,000 legally casted ballots are just unaccounted and missing at the USPS and no one in the media is even talking about it. Louis DeJoy should be locked up in DeJail.

[Be A King @BerniceKing]

Legally cast votes are still being counted.

That’s not “stealing the election.”

That’s the democratic process.

I encourage you to not believe false, dangerous rhetoric that damages our already divided nation.

#ForwardWithIntegrity #Election2020

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

Them: "Aren't you afraid of alienating friends and family by getting political on social media?
Me:

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

From the guy who brought you “the reason there are so many cases is because we are doing too many tests” comes the new hit single “I’m only losing because they’re counting all the votes against me”

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

#Congratulations

[Jay Michaelson @jaymichaelson]

It is really hard to comprehend how almost half of American voters prefer Trump's ignorant, illiterate blustering to these dignified, reasonable, statesmanlike words.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Count every vote.

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

"The FBI said Sunday it is investigating a convoy of Trump supporters who apparently attempted to run a Biden campaign bus off a Texas interstate; Trump praised the perpetrators and condemned the FBI."

Damn America, you scary.

[Dana Milbank @Milbank]

Now is our time to affirm that the ballot is mightier than the bullet. Vote as though democracy depends on it. Vote as though your country depends on it. Vote as though our way of life depends on it. For surely they all do. https://t.co/gc0jpboS0J

[Alyssa Cooper @AlyssaWrites_]

Hey seasonal depression, it's been a while! I know you've already met my regular depression, but allow me to introduce you to our new housemate, pandemic depression. #2020