Savannah

Instead of texting all this nonsense to my friends, I'll deposit it here.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

I’m going to scooch my way over to Threads because between the two sketcheroo companies, it was the hubris of renaming a time-honored site that got me.
Yknow what other winged figure fell from grace? Icarus.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

I have read “The Canterbury Tales” 3 times. I have remembered it 0 times.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

this is because i have the toughness of cooked vermicelli and the airbnb host at this little room in st louis got kinda sharp with me bc he thought i ignored his request to finish my airbnb profile before re-requesting when i actually did it and it hadn't loaded for him yet 🥺

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

BE KIND FOR EVERYONE YOU MEET IS FIGHTING A BATTLE. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE IS GROWING THROUGH. THROW LOVE AND KINDNESS AROUND LIKE CONFETTI.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

BE KIND FOR EVERYONE YOU MEET IS FIGHTING A BATTLE. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE IS GROWING THROUGH. THROW LOVE AND KINDNESS AROUND LIKE CONFETTI.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

Approximately 12 seconds ago, I learned that “Amex” is short for “American Express” and I rushed here to tell all two of you.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

Don't mind me, I'm just here to throw the hilarious breadcrumbs of my mind into the little hubris koi pond that is my Twitter page.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

Remember how Zuko got like, pneumonia from making a morally good choice one time? That’s me when I engage in the most minuscule conflict imaginable.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

No, Avenue Q. The internet is for Wikipedia rabbit trails.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

Have nightmares. Don't be one.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

I miss the “using natural disasters that cause unspeakable damage as family entertainment” genre of rides at Universal Studios.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

“The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker” documentary on Netflix, but we rewrite it as “Exploiting a Vulnerable Population for Money and Then Blaming Them for Their Unwellness When They Don’t Do What We Want”. #thehatchetwieldinghitchhiker

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

You know who else wore a fedora unironically? Rorschach from “Watchmen”. AND HE’S DEAD NOW.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

And now I have to make a choice: go to the store for pain reliever, or crack open my first aid kit and literally do something listed in the first stanzas of "Dumb Ways to Die"?

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

Bad news: I just broiled my own skin with a skillet I threw in the oven. Again. 🙁
Good news: If I commit a crime with my left ring finger, no one will ever be able to trace me. 🙂

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

“Dumb Ways to Die”, but it’s remixed to feature all of the episodes of MTV’s “1000 Ways to Die” that permanently ruined normal daily events for you.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

Allergies: your panacea for mild illness, crying in public, and generally being weird.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

The greatest love is to lay down your life for a friend. The second greatest love is to pick them first when you get to be a team captain.

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

UK: We call it “autumn” from the Latin “autumnus”…
Me: I call it “fall” because I fall apart

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

Take me back to Los Angeles, where this guy biked up and down the Santa Monica Pier pointing to everyone he passed while shouting, “Champion. You’re a champion.”

[Savannah @Amanda7Fox]

Remember that Craigslist ad turned meme about the pet lobster that had a meltdown and destroyed things if he heard Johnny Cash? That's me when I hear someone say that White Star Line sunk the Olympic in place of the Titanic for insurance money.