Grandma : Partying is partying. Your only job is to make sure she doesn’t fall off the table while she dances, not to keep her from dancing on the table.
drunk girls at bars: ok, listen britney, it is britney right? ok listen britney. you. are a GODDESS. you're too good for any man. I love you and your cute top
drunk guys at bars: did you just fuckin breathe on me? fuckin breathe on me again bro gimme a reason to knock you out