Olivia
Online
Amanda Stellberg
@AmandaStellberg
MAD contributing writer. Social media manager. Former Intern for Apatow, Conan, Fluffy. Anemic.
Milwaukee, WI
Joined December 2012
558 Following
265 Followers
2.1K Posts
Pinned Tweet
@smbaird1989 Now she’s 43 time’s crazy!
Is 26 too old to reserve an entire gymnastics gym? Asking for a me.
Writing Tip #7. Use all ten fingers when you type, and your novel will be finished in no time.
When you get to be 25 your mom begins to request that you DO go out to bars on Saturday nights. Interesting.
Went to the library last week and got a time management book. Coincidentally I have not found time to read it.
Happy Valentines Day! One time I went on a date and he spent an hour telling me about how he had back-to-back heroin addicted roommates.
Happy Valentines Day! One time I asked a guy to a school dance and he optimistically recommended I take my gay male friend in his place 💝
Which essential oil will un-strain my lateral collateral ligament?
@hulu A Quiet Place
My approach to talking to a guy at the gym went like this ~
“HEY what’s the weight on that medicine ball?!! ....12 lbs? Oh that’s too heavy for me. Proceed!”
The marketing takeaway I’ve gotten from looking at bank websites today -
“BANK: We’re big but not toooooo big. 🙂 Give US your money!”
🎶 Do you want to build a snowman? 🎶
I can’t my January expense report is late
YES I have a diversified portfolio, by which I mean I bought 3 different lottery tickets tonight.
Joe can afford a one bedroom apartment AND a storage space in LA on a retail salary? Ok, @netflix
You put your left hand in, take your left hand out, put your left hand in - *SNAP!* I caught you in my bear trap, dummy! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 🐻
“No, YOU’RE out of order!” I shout at the broken vending machine.
I’m just glad both teams had fun 🥰
Jesus loves me but I friend-zoned him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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