Anders McKale

Turns out you don't have to know sh*t to become a dad, but you end up spending a lot of time cleaning it up.

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

Holy halitosis batman. My kid's morning breath could wilt an oak tree.

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

@MyOffbeatLife hmmmm. My kids don't possess baking skills as of yet... Unless you count pop tarts.

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

@MyOffbeatLife ...and then they all want a snack, right? I nearly had to take a second mortgage on the house feeding the offsprings friends.

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

@MyOffbeatLife All three of them have "rick" in their names. And yes, I am a geek for noticing that :^#

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

At the park. My kids are so rowdy all the other kids left. Yeah. I'm raising THOSE kind of kids.

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

My wife made me watch Grey's Anatomy again 2night. After 4 seasons I'm so in touch with my emotional side I might start menstruating.

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

My iPhone has once again been defiled after my kids pick their noses and play angry birds.

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

Bedtime for the offspring. Wine time for dad.

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

Oldest kid mowed the lawn today. The lawn looked like a cancer patient's head and he still had the nerve to ask for $20. WTF

[Anders McKale @AmateurDad]

Hello twitter. I'm 34 and feel like a kid. I also happen to have kids. This could be disastrous for them...