amber jamber

Living my life like it’s golden ✨ | RPCV Kosovo 🇽🇰| #TxSt 🎓 | Teuta’s Mom👸🏾

[kiyo-boi @kiyo_boi]

Why are you, as a grown ass sun going down at 4:45pm???

[amber jamber @AmberBCDEFG]

Thanks @WildRivers for spending 1,409 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to Long Time. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/8hYlyVh2CY

[Brooklyn @bklynb4by]

there needs to be study conducted on the psychological damage done to teens in 2012 that was caused by these 2 albums being released 3 months apart

[Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness]

Secret to a successful marriage is to wake up and be the first one to say, “I didn’t sleep well”

[Jocelyn J. Fitzgerald MD @jjfitzgeraldMD]

Baby boomers did a pretty good job teaching their millennial daughters that they could be anything they wanted to be and a pretty terrible job of preparing their sons for what that would mean for them as husbands and fathers

[ehime ora @ehimeora]

What do you mean you didn’t get my telepathic declaration of my love?

[Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack]

Nobody ever talks about the fact that Mickey Mouse’s real first name is Michael.

[Nicole Nichelle @alamanecer]

ATTN: This is a test of the Black Twitter Alert System. IYKY know what to do 🙋🏾‍♀️

[Ashley Winter MD || Urologist @AshleyGWinter]

Another reason I won't leave this app.

[Oliver Darkshire 🌈 @deathbybadger]

ME: (explaining to my autistic husband that the social ritual requires him to invite me to an event I don't want to go to, so that I can respect his desire to go alone by saying no to it)

ME: you know what now that I say it out loud this is not the most efficient use of our time

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

women will tell you the most traumatic life-altering story you’ve ever heard in your life and then be like “isn’t that funny?”

[k0urt @kourtrob]

“I think your cat has the zumiez again”

[Tig Notaro @TigNotaro]

still wish Disney+ would've called it "2 Hocus 2 Pocus"

[Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ @maryfairybobrry]

Why would I need a haunted house when I can just open the dishwasher and see how my husband arranged the dishes

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS IF YOU WOULD STILL LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM, JUST SAY YES. SHE WILL NEVER BE A WORM. YOU WILL NEVER ACTUALLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT. BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE GIRLFRIEND WHO THINKS YOU WOULDN'T LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM AND SHE IS MAD

[Amanda Chinda 😘 @Omah_sila]

Wait cause i really thought this was the GTA at first.😭

[. @DollFaceBeautii]

If me and my man not like this at karaoke it’s over…..

[围着纽约香港洛杉矶伦敦旧金山新加坡东北京上海外去旅行中 @WednesdaysDaily]

From hero to zero real quick 😂 #HouseoftheDragon

[Jorts (and Jean) @JortsTheCat]

Ok if you love your cat so much why won’t you let them smell the food inside your mouth

[Dan Toomey @dhtoomey]

Every Massachusetts news story