Amy Damara

You'll find me on stage or on the slopes. But I'll always wish that everything tasted like pizza.

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@celinedion You can only imagine the surprise when I turned around and in the rear view mirror, I see the driver of that Red Peugeot 106 was you! #oryouhaveatwin

[Carys Wright @wright_carys]

Ladies, if he:

- sends you formal emails
- has been eying you up all year
- keeps tabs on who bought what
- has a preference for elevator music
- fills you with a cold sense of dread

He’s not your man. He’s HMRC.

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
Yesterday we ski’d many a mile,
Upon my return I looked vile,
I couldn’t even (real quick),
Write a short limerick,
My aptitude was in the lower quartile.
#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay #skiing #skiingwaytoodamnhard

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
Once was a mountain so tall,
An off-piste skier took a fall,
She tumbled and cursed,
Her dignity dispersed,
Perhaps a trip back to ski school?
#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay
#skiing #completelyfuckedit

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
There once was an Easter Egg Hunt,
Everyone that took part was a-

#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell I’ll show you how to pronounce it upon my return. But yeah it was bad.

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
There was a resort in Penia,
Skiers and boarders there were many o’,
The weather was fine;
We had too much wine,
I’ll have a tan better here than in Kenya!
#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell Last night I rhymed “ticket” with “ticket”. Alcohol is not good for me.

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
There once was a jam in Germany,
The number of cars were so many,
Determined not to moan,
Amy sat on her phone,
And still proceeded to earn money.

#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay
#itsshitbutmydayhasbeenboring

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
Today was full of Tom-foolery,
We ended the day perhaps too merry,
With a parking ticket,
How drunk we are’s not the ticket,
And in the car we can’t fit more jewellery!
#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell Hashtag?

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell Mine was truly horrific, you’re not wrong. But your syllables are all over the place, woman!

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
There once was a graphic designer,
- A bit of a social climber,
She had many mates,
But a bit scarce on dates,
So instead resorts to vagina.
#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
There once was a girl called Camilla,
Rumours were she was vanilla,
Convinced of her wit,
Yet unable to acquit,
She’s as bland as a salty tortilla.
#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell I don’t even LIKE toilet humour... I think I’m ill. 🤪

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@CamillaCornwell
We went for a cold day of skiing,
Snow and ice we were seeing,
We ski’d through ‘til dawn,
Yet my legs felt so warm...
Oh wait, I must’ve been peeing!
#alimerickadaykeepsagirlgay

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@NatalieGoodacre @GazGShore All over it like a rash.

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@Guitarthur Lovely to meet you too @Guitarthur - hope the journey back wasn’t too bad, and do let me know if you’re back in London at any point / gigging and we’ll definitely attend!

[Amy Damara @AmyDamaraMartin]

@annieplayguitar Please tell me that was a rock; not a bullet?!

[Ιάσονας Πλέσσας @OcciPart89]

Some brilliant performances in female @Barred_Freedom last night. Last chance to see Sat night. The boys are on tonight 7pm @cockpittheatre