Amyas

142 IQ, Ivy League Reject, gym bro, bonafide autist, Bridge extraordinaire

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@Leaflit It’s worse the same people who want to withhold their services as a means of control, are suddenly surprised that people are using something else

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

Partner:
♠AQJ4
♥9764
♦T8
♣Q64

LHO: RHO:
♠8 ♠963
♥KQJT532 ♥A8
♦AK6 ♦QJ72
♣J3 ♣9872

Us:
♠KT752
♥-
♦9543
♣AKT5

Clearly RHO should have bid something, but we're going to land in 2♠ if we bid 1♠ or Double, but it turns out either side can make a game

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

Bridge problem of the day:

Bidding problem this time: Both sides Vulnerable

♠KT752
♥-
♦9543
♣AKT5

LHO | Partner | RHO | You
1♥ | Pass | Pass | ?

Your bid?

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

Bridge problem of the day:

Bidding problem this time: Both sides Vulnerable

♠KT752
♥-
♦9543
♣AKT5

LHO | Partner | RHO | You
1♥ | Pass | Pass | ?

Your bid?

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

Answer to today's problem:

Full deal:

Dummy:
♠T974 ♥J6 ♦AJ94 ♣J42

Us: Partner:
♠K3 ♠652
♥AT932 ♥Q54
♦52 ♦QT873
♣A763 ♣98

Declarer:
♠AQJ8 ♥K87 ♦K6 ♣KQT5

The winning defense is ♣A and another club which lets you play a third club after winning the ♠K. You can afford to take ♥A first. That is not a line I recommend at the table when you don't see the hands.

Tomorrow will have a bidding problem, so follow to see it.

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

I'm going to try something here: Bridge Problem of the day. Today's is a lead problem:

♠K3
♥AT932
♦52
♣A763

RHO | You | LHO | Partner
1♣ | 1♥ | X | 2♥
4 ♠| All pass

Vote the suit you would lead

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@ArtemisConsort I’m afraid that not knowing which I am makes me the Chud

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@PaulaYScanlan Whatever you do, make sure they know you’re not a cat

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

I'm going to try something here: Bridge Problem of the day. Today's is a lead problem:

♠K3
♥AT932
♦52
♣A763

RHO | You | LHO | Partner
1♣ | 1♥ | X | 2♥
4 ♠| All pass

Vote the suit you would lead

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@RedEaglePatriot I think kids do flip right to left more than the reverse, but it’s less than 20% either direction. They aren’t making up a 4:1 gap

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

We will replace you!

[Smirkley @Smirkley]

Trump voters have more children at every age, but it’s widest among the young anyway:

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

We should actually be protecting our tech companies from foreign regulations that will chill speech on our soil. The law nominally would only affect people watching from the UK, but how many creators will have to stop putting out content to Americans due to loss of revenue inflicted by an indigent foreign government.

OFAC-ing British companies is a quick and easy way to put a stop to it, and we should be prepared to do it.

[Lyman Stone 石來民 🦬🦬🦬 @lymanstoneky]

But why?

What US interest is served by such a policy?

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@NightwayFantasy @Keeen_EN @Leaflit @AngelsSwordRPG @TheeHolyBall @OccultusNotitia @LadyWasabee @GeneralGravey How many credits are in a gen? I’m looking at AI plans and the top tier ones seem to be exponentially more costly than the basic tier paid versions

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@Keeen_EN @Leaflit @AngelsSwordRPG @NightwayFantasy @TheeHolyBall @OccultusNotitia @LadyWasabee @GeneralGravey Wow, so there’s really a limited window of artificially low overhead for you. Talk about first-mover advantage. Great work

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

Happy 250th to the greatest country on earth!

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@SideScrollerPod @Leaflit should want to promote this as aggressively as possible.

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

The main value from enforcement is against fare evasion isn’t recovered theft, it’s reduced costs of cleaning up and repairing the damage those people cause to public spaces. This has been studied.

[Basil🧡 @LinkofSunshine]

Realizing crime is bad has been my biggest political growth the last 5 years

Even if we spent more on enforcing fair evading than we get on missing fairs, that would be fine. People seeing people regularly jump fares without consequences makes people angry and more conservative

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@martyrdison Is this AI or does this exist already ?

[Kitten 🐈 @kitten_beloved]

Accepting the premise that any aid is a perpetually binding moral obligation is an excellent reason to never offer any

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@martyrdison I mean travel with the would-be father

[Amyas @Amyas_II]

@martyrdison You’re overthinking this. They just need to travel and conceive while they’re here. Visa overstayers are the most common form of illegal alien so they’ll do that and still get their anchor baby