Dennis Reynolds

I'm going to stay right here, and I'm going to wait for my minions to swarm me. *Parody Account*

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

The thing is she's not gonna say no. She would never say no, because of the implication.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

I see you were born in 1985, so everything checks out there. Beautiful.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

I swear you would be of more use to me if I skinned you, and turned your skin into a lampshade. Or fashioned you into a piece of high-end luggage. I could even add you to my collection!

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

I’m gonna bang Tim Murphy’s black wife.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Listen, run off to the bathroom and cram a couple fingers down your throat. Bulimia is really big with this crowd.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

You guys been to Florida?

Been there? Not physically.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Don’t say stage freeze, just do it.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Sage, Asrael, can we commune for a moment?

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Dennis Reynolds

D, as in “Deliver me from this!”
E, as in “Engage with human!”
N, as in “Nightmare”
N, as in “NIGHTMARE!”
I, as in “IS THIS REAL?!”
S, as in “SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!”

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

When we’re selling stuff at Paddy’s, I think we need to be selling a certain attitude, right?

One that reflects our “take no prisoners, rock-n-roll” lifestyle, yeah?

Now, what says that more than this? Huh?

PADDY’S THONG DUDE

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Facebook is connecting everyone these days, even people in the Middle East. Hell, I mean look, people are showing up to a bar that doesn’t even have a sign and only serves one old-timey, disgusting drink that nobody likes. God damn, I hate gin. Dee, you bitch!

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Hey @elonmusk

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Bro we agreed upon funny over sexy this year, so we could disarm the ladies. You don’t remember this conversation? Without my Mario, what am I? I’m just like some weird Italian plumber. I look like an asshole.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Think about this dude, in recession times what thrives more than anything else?
Mac: Prostitutes!
No… well, yeah. But that and bars, right? Because people want to drown their sorrows.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

@SteveB231

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Simply regurgitating back to them exactly what they’re saying to each other in their ridiculous echo chambers is all they want. And then, we can get what we want. Oh also, they’re riddled with insecurity and have serious daddy issues, so that helps.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

This is not a woman’s head in a box, you sick freak! This is a woman’s head… in a freezer.

[Dennis Reynolds @AnEroticLife]

Look at all these maniacs. Goddamn blood-thirsty freaks walking in off the streets. So easy for anybody to just waltz in and buy a gun.