just a guy in a hoodie

damn, a bitch can't be charismatic?

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

When men send me unsolicited pictures of their dick

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

This night will literally never fucking end, oh my god

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

"I can't believe you don't fuck with this one" -my husband right before he makes me sit through a song I don't fuck with in the slightest 🙄

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

Mhmm 😌

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

@SupaStarSK @jniz4president @Ol_Bungus Yeah... And? 😂

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

@SupaStarSK @jniz4president @Ol_Bungus Kids dance. Kids shake their butts with literally no sexual intent at all. They think butts are funny, bro. If YOU sexualize butts, that's on you. But y'all are projecting sexual understanding on kids who don't have it, so... You're the problem.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

@jniz4president @Ol_Bungus Cartoons have never "just been cartoons". Cartoons used to include HELLA racism back in the day and have always had adult humor included for the adults who do watch with their kids. Rugrats, Bugs Bunny, Scooby Doo. It doesn't have to be that deep over some innocent booty shaking.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

I hope my mom is having a bad night

[Bailey’s Comet @lakey_musings]

If your partner confesses that he or she cheated on you, I know the temptation is to ask, “With who?”
But that’s inappropriate. Avoid it.

Instead, ask: “With whom?”

Because if you’re going to experience a life-altering betrayal, you might as well do it with correct prepositions, refined diction, and a quiet air of superiority.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

Okay, but if this was 500 BC and I said "I do what I can, and do not what I cannot" it would go triple platinum and I'd be a famous philosopher.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

I do what I can, and don't what I can't.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

@Verizon as a person who takes public transportation everywhere and needs GPS to know where the fuck I'm going and how to get home, you guys literally ruined my chance to see the Monks

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

I can't fucking believe I'm not slamming tonight.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

Working on a poem about the buses in my city and getting scolded by the driver of the bus I was riding reeeaaally ruined the fucking vibe.

Now I wanna delete the whole poem 😒

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

I had the worst fucking day at work. There was ONE singular bright spot at the very end. All I wanted was to come home and get stoned out of my goddamn gourd before I have to be back tomorrow.

Tell me why I left my pack of blunts in the Lyft. As if I hadn't suffered enough.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

If the goal was sexy... It's not. Like, is this another one of those photoshoots like at the White House and I'm just out of the loop? What is HAPPENING?

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

This is, objectively, a terrible photo.

[JumpTrailers @JumpTrailers]

Sydney Sweeney for Variety

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

The reason I allow so much weaponized incompetence from people is because I'm adjusted to it from my family using it against me my entire life.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

If you don't clean your kitchen as you cook, I just want to know why you insist on making things as difficult as possible. Do you like making your life harder? Are you punishing yourself? Like, what's the deal?

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

I don't really watch or enjoy porn just because it doesn't really do much for me. But let me come across a TikTok of a man cleaning his apartment. Let me see a video of man decorating for the holidays. It'll get me going every time.

[just a guy in a hoodie @AnIntricateMess]

God could have blessed me with a slightly shorter torso and longer legs, but she didn't and I just have to be okay with that 😭