:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.:

+
under cløthes, under skin,
underneath we're all the same,
for when you remove the tricky tricks,
only skeleton bones remain. -💀

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Yesterday, a few wasp stung my adorable little puppy. So this morning I go full blown John Wick and murder their entire family. There will be no sequel.

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Being born is the original escape room

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Someone just told me I look like a person that likes black licorice and that’s by far the most offensive thing I’ve been called

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

I survived Y2K 23 years ago

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

I’ll take an inside joke that wasn’t funny

Reference it
for years
And years
And years

Until you laugh at the absurdity of how long I’ve committed to it

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Asteroids aside, I’m taking doggos.

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

If there was an asteroidal impact tomorrow which would you rather spend the end of the world with?

[Kaylo @lafresaprincesa]

@AnOdeToSleep A couple whips n lotsa fancy things
The kids they call the goonies

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Um…. Folllow your dreams?
Yah.
Want to get a mansion,
a jacuzzi,
a theatre to watch my movies.

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

@BrianBlackmer @BarstoolBurgh Saying “I’ll enjoy my browns” is another way of saying I’m a masochist.

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

I hope that if I ever have a child it will be a goth toddler

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Babies shouldn’t be allowed on planes

[Kaylo @lafresaprincesa]

Drinking iced coffee right now for the love of the game 🙂☕️

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

“Rich men wage wars that poor people die in.”

The title track to my hardcore band.

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Any post that starts off with “Instagram vs reality” should just not be posted though, OBVIOUSLY

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

What was up with people making out with pop rocks in 8th grade?

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

@hillarybibb I’m not really a human kind of guy

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Hey you.
Yeah, you.
I love you.

Unless…
UNLESS
You’re one of those people that goes 5 mph under in the left lane

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Nothing turn me into a ninja faster than a wasp landing on me

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

I feel like deaths fucking calling me

[:.₩ıllıam.Ryan.: @AnOdeToSleep]

Filters so good you have to introduce yourself more than once in real life