And Why Am I Single?

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

Hey @Cosmopolitan I'm thinking we should do a piece or a sequel of sorts to "How to lose a Guy in 10 Days."

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

He got all pissed bc I got "too drunk" before dinner to order my own bottle of saki when I got to the restaurant #andwhyamisingle

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

One of the worst feelings is watching Family Feud alone & having no one to high-five for answering all the questions like a boss.

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

If a girl says "size doesn't matter" she's either a virgin or lying

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

I've never been cheated on but I did have an ex that was so obsessed with his mom that I felt like we were sister wives, so I get it

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

I want to be/marry famous

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

Sometimes you wake up on the floor of an empty apartment you've never been in before, but hey, that's life.

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

Two Words to avoid an awkward post hookup morning: Fuck & Flea.

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

Hey @MileyCyrus can I have two of whatever your having?

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

Today, I'm thankful that there's literally a pill for everything. Amen.

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

I'm such a fucking rebel bye.

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

I didn't get the job bc I told her my 5 year plan includes marrying up and a black Amex.

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

#SingleBecause alcohol and thoughts

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

"Soulmates? I think yes." -me to literally every guy that blinks in my direction

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

Current Occupation: dubstep

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

Does the word "penetrate" make anyone else uncomfortable?

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

Can we make Monday Funday a thing?

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

If by "hot mess" you mean charming and irresistible, yeh I'm a hot mess #WifeMeUp

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

I love Uber bc I like doing the walk of shame up to a town car with tinted windows

[And Why Am I Single? @AndWhyAmISingle]

I just want to be a mermaid