lil spoon

Soccer mom enthusiast. Terrible Rapper. Aspiring for a failed career in comedy.

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

I bet you didn’t even realize you’re supposed to “dunk” your “donuts” into your coffee that’s literally why it’s called Starbucks

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

@RSherman_25 Everyone’s favorite response is that CMC should be the mvp of this team.. yet they only say that after he had a good game. All three games niners lost were when Deebo and Trent were out. CMC was in all of those games, and Brock was dealing with a concussion. CMC is great. Not MVP

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Everything is Will Smith this, Will Smith that, but when Will you get a fuckin job?

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

drinking is like barely fun and always leaves you feeling like shit at the end but fuck me do i also love a glass of wine or three

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Pouring milk into the cereal box and then putting the box back into the cupboard

[Weed & tings 💨 @PotHeadBK]

Wyd after smoking this? 💀

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

@tcashthecreator haha which show (asking for a friend) 😅

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Ages 1-18 felt like 45 years and since then every year feels like 22 minutes

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Looking for a sugar guardian who got the hookup

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

All these girls are hella loyal until I tell them to wear the strap on and show me who’s boss

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

You could be the Michael Jordan of Masturbating and no one would ever know

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

To anyone who is the last person in a bar or restaurant for longer than 20 minutes: ligma

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

I literally plan out meetings like 3 times a week and forget about all of them until said person walks in and asks to speak with me and I’m like who the fuck are you and then I have to pretend like I’m prepared?? I need an assistant that knows how to use a calendar

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

@K_pierson14 This is 55% of my bad decisions

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Why are the poor decisions always the most fun?

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

@MedicenLEMF Which cheeks

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

I peaked In 3rd grade

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Nobody said happy birthday to me today :(((

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Being in another city makes me realize how disgusting Manhattan really is but fuck it’s so much better roll me in the rats and filth and give me my $1 pizza

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

@maddiejaye11 Meh

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Men don’t get enough credit for literally dragging around BILLIONS of potential humans in their balls AT ALL TIMES.

[lil spoon @AndreAkti]

Fuck all of these hoes - Adam “The Air Force” Garguilo