Andrew Slafta

Aspiring writer and human being. Lover of sunshine, laughter, fried foods, and overly bland/generic descriptions of self.

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

@32feet Mistakes were made, but will not be repeated. Welcome to my renaissance, also, I’ll be following solely you. Going to be a fun ride.

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

@32feet So... what you’re saying is hindsight is “20/20.” #nailedit

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Sometimes I wish Stevie Wonder had a band. And it was called "random acts of blindness."

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Boys. Barcade field trip? @to_fo @GIBceratops @NickfrmBoston https://t.co/DRft9EdB6U

[Rick and Morty @RickandMorty]

IT’S THE BIGGEST RICK IN THE WORLD. And it’s also a truck that’s also a store. Get the #RickMobile schedule here: https://t.co/NHw2Jf3GST

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

"... writing about a traffic jam like it was f%&king Iwo Jima." Nothing worse then editing, and throwing away absolute gold #singletear #ugh

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Anyone else remember when they could watch "Blank Check" and willingly suspend their disbelief? Man, being an adult sucks.

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

If a doc ever tells me I have three weeks to live, I hope that's measured in "close end of an NBA playoff game" time. I'd live for decades.

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Crap @GIBceratops. I hate to undermine your joke, but this is by far my new favorite. #ThorRagnarok #theyhavetheSAMEname #reasons https://t.co/TrG5VtwuiE

[David F Walker @DavidWalker1201]

SPOILER: Thor and Hulk will beat the crap out of each other, until Thor mumbles, "Martha," which makes everything cool between with Hulk.

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Guys. Who else is pumped for "Asgardians of the Galaxy." It's gonna be totes rad. https://t.co/ARcfwxsaJb #TM #blending #ThorRagnarok #GOTG

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

@BarackObama should do a #tedtalk on multitasking. Golf every weekend, ran isis, AND had time to bug Trump's phone? Next level org skills.

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

When I have a kid, and they need the "looks aren't everything" speech, I'm going to just show them every #forbes richest under 40 article.

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

I absolutely detest hyperbole. With that being said, "hint of salt" crackers are man's most blasphemous creation ever. #disgusting #blahhhnd

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

We can call this a win, solely because Trump didn't use his "survived a terrible medical condition" speech on the "underprivileged student."

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Pence reminds me of when I didn't do my HW in school, but nodded and actively "paid attention" so no one would call on me. #JointAddress

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

"This very scientific report, says that this costs many - very many - billions of dollars." #science #whatscientistssay #veryveryscience

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Old white people hesitantly standing up like they're at church, wondering "crap, it's time for a hymn now?" Could watch it all day.

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Is there a #gofundme campaign to have an attendee throw their shoe at Trump? Or do I need to start one? #JointAddress

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Upon his intro: "President. I can't believe we're actually saying that." #preach #gomom #Jointsession

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Watching the #JointAddress with my mom. She grabbed a full bottle of wine, and brought it into the living room. I'm. So. Proud. #mamasboy

[Andrew Slafta @AndrewSlafta]

Leave it to Hollywood to scrap the Oscars, and just do a gritty reboot of the Grammys. #Oscars2017 #timberlake