Andrew_is_cool

Do you think Andrew is cool?

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Big changes already this 2026, I've started writing my t's upwards instead of downwards, which is of course how I learned.
Back when I was smaller...

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Taught a man to fish today. Now I have to feed him for a lifetime. What the fuck was I thinking.

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Resealable bag making student: Does it zip because of the lock or lock because of the zip?
Me, the Master: Is the stone shaped by the river or the river shaped by the stone?

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Bruh I can't find the keys to my crooked hoss

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

If you just find joy in balls going in hoops, you can never lose when you watch basketball...

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Well what are we waiting for! Let's get in there and party!

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

I go to the gym to read books and library to lift weights and you'll never guess why. Never.

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Perfect, I can use these in my quantum photon flux positron generator.

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Just saw a bug on an atm machine machine, do you think he was making a wise financial decision or preparing for a night of revelry?

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Well well well, you might as well call it middle toe day, cause THIS little piggy had roast beef!

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Wish in one hand wish in the other? A fruitless exercise in wanting.

Spit in one hand spit in the other? An excellent way to train your salivary glands.

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Here's a quick tip, if you forget someones name you can figure it out with this sneaky question without letting them know you forgot it: If you had a nametag, what would it say?

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Every time I see a flashing red stop light and know to treat it like a stop sign, I just know my driving instructor, Dr. Barnacle, would be so proud of me

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Looks like my 'emails' finally reached the right 'person'. Haha!🧞

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

I hate that some numbers have alternate forms that I can't access. Please, let me type the other 4, the one that looks like a castle.

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Got asked about my hobbies and panicked and said parking garages, then got way too deep and started tearing up about them, realized there might be something there.

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

How I feel after breaking something with my hands, these stupid oaf hands. 🧌.

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Emoji artisans work too hard for so many emojis to go to waste. Gonna start trying to use some of the under loved emojis. 📆🪬🧌 Am I right guys?

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Favorite day of the year is April First Day, or as I like to call it, Good News Day!

[Andrew_is_cool @Andrew_is_2cool]

Well well well it seems it's that time of year again, Dennis's birthday is coming up next week. Where should I hold his surprise party?