AndyHatesPeople

I am a programmer. I like less sun/heat and more hipster podcasts. People are a thing i deal with begrudgingly...
parody account, no butts were hurt.

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

I've always been against pirating things online...until I saw Messier on the hockey broadcast.

#FuckMessier #LindenCaptain #11isMaki

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

Happy to be sharing a weekend of camping with some people that are very special to me.

Only way this could be better is if it was in Edmonton...with an unlimited supply of Guinness....and the special people were the Canucks....and they were winning...

#MissingGame7ForThis

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

Downside to Overly-Intrusive-Guy leaving, now I'm super bored not having someones code to "critique"

So bored the other day I lied about a Ferrari outside just to visit with IT-Car-Guy for a few

Thank the gods NHL is back

#CarGuysAreHorseGirls
#NHLBetterNotSuckAtCovidLikeMLB

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

I've trained my whole life for this moment...

#SocialDistancingIsMyDefault
#NoMoreOverlyIntrusiveCoworkerGuy
#CouldUseASteamSale

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

Doing security training...pretty sure Old-Guy-From-IT is less qualified to teach this than I am. I'm not going to do it, just wanted to remind him I am better.
#GetPhishedNoob
#TimeSpentBetterThanFixingOldEmployeeBugs

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

Update on what is being called my "Mane" by Cant-Push-An-Update-Properly guy:

I hear drums. I hope the next person to join me in Jumanji doesnt want to talk about the holiday season or anything else really... except Oak Island, Id be ok with that.

#TreasureHunt
#ImNotALion

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

It's ridiculous that I have to contact every family member and friend to inform them they need to make their Facebook pics private so Overly-Intrusive-Office-Guy will stop sharing my 2011 Halloween pics in the group chat

#PrivacyIsImportant
#ErasingMyWebPresenceOneMugolAtATime

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

No, it's not for hockey season.
No, it's not because I want a hipster top knot.
No, I don't care if you think it looks good/bad.

All it is, is it got too long for my clippers and I'm too lazy to hire someone to shear me.

#StopCallingItMyFlow

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

It has been implied that I have "Sunday Date-Hikes". Don't believe the lies. I'm PRETTY sure we're just hanging out.

You know who isn't my friend anymore? My knees. Complete friends off. Screw stairs

#StopTryingToLiveVicariouslyThroughMeCoworkerGuy
#BionicLimbsAnyTimeNowThx

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

No, overly-intrusive-coworker-guy. You are not vegan. You don't have cheat meals. You have literally NEVER had a cheat meal.

#Gatekeeping #AVeganMealWouldBeACheatMealForYou #Shutit

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

Again, it's been a while. Let's catch up.

Got sent to a site over a couple nights. Couple things to note: Small towns suck at accommodating vegans and TFT is successfully playable on my tablet.

In other news, someone followed me. This is concerning. Stop it

#ItsTheLittleThings

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

Suns shining...
flip flops are flipping and flopping...
people are showing a little skin...

i hate summer.

#BringBackWinter #NoOneCaresAboutYourBeachBod
#FuckFlipFlops #StillBetterThanToeShoes

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

New Project Haiku
---------------------
Given new project
Program sucks database sucks
Fix with more bandaids

Start on next project
Same problems use more bandaids
Have made bandaid ball

Bandaid ball bounce
Always rewrite everything
Thank you MPJ

https://t.co/WLlqHEi1qP

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

The time you are so old you hurt your back by coughing...

Still not as bad as some people in this department who kill their arm for 3 months because they slept on it funny...

#ImReady #WarriorsDeath #IMeantKeyboardWarrior

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

I know it's been a while but I see you looking at me and I find that equally concerning as attempting to converse....10/10 will pass on both.

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

There is a special place in hell for people that wear bells to work and walk around the office...

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

Worst parts of winter:
- Drivers....you don't even know how bad you are
- Forced to take holidays
- Egg nog
- Carollers
- Heating bills
- Expectations of participation
- Xmas music
- Fruitcake...WHAT EVEN ARE YOU!?!?
#NotComprehensive #ThisListCouldGetOutOfHandQuickly

[AndyHatesPeople @AndyHatesPeople]

Best parts of winter:
- Cold weather. Being warm is stupid and as a bonus people are less likely to just show up at your house due to having to experience the cold
- Go to work, dark outside. Come home, dark outside. win-win
- Holiday Steam sales