Andy Carpenter

Dad/Husband/Golfer. As I age, I am learning I am not really good at any of those........Opinions expressed here are mine, and they are terrible.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

Me getting introduced at 6th grade open house.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@mattmc24 @FancyPantsJK He kept all this ass beatings he was passing out in those baggy pants.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@FancyPantsJK @mattmc24 So baggy

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@TWEsq @TDAlabamaMag Is this the guy who reworded all your tweets acting like he was there?

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

everyone. is worried. about my eyes. when the moon sun thing. happens. but my whole day. is booked. staring at the skittle. under the fridge

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

I'm pretty sure I was just sitting at a stop light beside 1994 Lorrie Morgan. I thought she'd have been driving a nicer car.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@TWEsq Dysentery? Prob from that trip on the Oregon Trail

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@gbdawkins @HunterLJohnson I thought this was the one where they collected the money for them. Sorry.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@HunterLJohnson Oh, is this the scrimmage that they pass the hat?

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

So, so dangerous. https://t.co/XnLXEV8GTL

[Aaron Suttles @AaronSuttles]

Saban: I think we play better offensively when we go fast.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@FancyPantsJK @mattmc24 @tamarasansbury If it ain't coming to DeSoto Caverns in Childersburg, I'm less than impressed.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

Hey guys, you're making it a little too easy. https://t.co/MN8CIIoYTl

[JWK @JWKerry]

This guy just got escorted away from counter-protesters by the cops

[Soledad O'Brien @soledadobrien]

I'd like to propose the American flag. That might be a good one. https://t.co/4sqpYXcQxJ

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@gbdawkins @jcgifford I bet you don't remember any of it since you weren't seeing the actual statues, only vids of them.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@jcgifford But they have to be actual statue for you to have learned anything, right?

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

Glad I'm an admin now & not teaching history. I loved it, but there's no way all the statues I'd need to teach it well could fit in my room

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@sh0pef0wler But I mean other than that…

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@gothlaw So you mean like a regular Saturday ?

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

Not of if President Trump and Sec. DeVoss can find a way to stop it. https://t.co/bbjNhr8v02

[Robert McNees @mcnees]

The eclipse will inspire thousands of kids to pursue science. Their long-term contributions to the economy will make this look like peanuts. https://t.co/T4OLdirKVh

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@CambroLiving Congrats on your preseason, no pressure kick, I guess.

[Andy Carpenter @AndyLCarpenter]

@jmccarter80 I guess I prob meant "be safe".