Andy Mannion

Have A Go One Liner Joke Writer

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

@Seraphinaf5 71

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

Daily Blitz Challenge
The dress code is business casual for this year's nudist xmas party so we're all going in our birthday suits.
@mydailyblitz
#dailyblitz
#comedycrowd

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

#LunchPun

Decided to leave Greggs for a new job at the Pound Bakery in search of pasties new.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

#LunchPun
When a meat pie dies does it rest in peas?

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

Daily Blitz Challenge
Working from home...
@mydailyblitz
#dailyblitz
#comedycrowd

I work at home running a dating agency for comedians ~ it's called He He Harmony.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

#LunchPun
My idea to design a belt made from Rolex watches turned out to be a waist of time.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

#LunchPun

~I need a small bottle for my toothache tincture.
~Vial?
~Yep, it tastes disgusting.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

@mydailyblitz #dailyblitz #comedycrowd
MY MORNING ROUTINE IS ...climbing to the top of a mountain to watch the sunrise and then meditating for two hours~it's downhill after that.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

@MissFlyByNight Is that my tongue on the table?

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

Daily Blitz Challenge
Best way to start September is to stop being self conscious about my facial spots by simply covering them in pasta shells.
@mydailyblitz
#dailyblitz
#comedycrowd

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

Count Down~The Hatch #DrinksTVShowsOrCelebs

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

@MissFlyByNight That's how cases will be loaded for a Elon Musk tourist rocket launch.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

#LunchPun You must get get my book about greenfly~ it's an aphid read.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

@mydailyblitz
#dailyblitz #comedycrowd
I used ChatGBT to do my English homework.
Apparently "A Tale Of Two Cities isn't set in Eccles and Hyde. It seems ChapGBT was getting confused with another 19th century novel about a doctor who sometimes turned into a madman.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

@mydailyblitz #dailyblitz #comedycrowd

So about your out of office email....

Why not just say vacation? Is it really necessary to let everyone know you're going stalking in Scotland?

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

Multi-Plymouth #MathsAndGeographicalPlaces

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

For sale gloves ~only worn a handful of times #Lunchpun

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

@MrBonMot I know that the best odds for when it will finish is ten to one.

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

Teacher said I should get a career in diagnostics. So now I'm looking for a job paint spraying people who don't believe in God.
#Lunchpun

[Andy Mannion @AndyPMannion]

Just come across a book "How To Tweet Like A Bird". Didn't buy it cos I've always been told to avoid cheap imitations.
#Lunchpun