Starting to share chapters from my new book on Patreon. I've been sitting on it for too long, it's time to let it find the souls who want to find it ♡
https://t.co/fKJeTvpDYZ
@Elletootuwu Two thoughts: you could be bi, which is totally awesome (bi hoes represent!) BUT my bestie is lesbian and regularly recognises that some guys are just cute/hot/sexy etc. but is still solid lesbian. So either way, you’re good.
It’s midnight. I turned the music off to not wake the neighbors up. Every fifth minute a lonely car passes by. I made a list to push you on, you need it:
1. I know the last year was unkind, weighing you down though you tried hard to stay flying. Stubborn like a dreamer in the sky. It’s over now, kid. Things will get better.
You made it through.
2. What do you learn from loving someone?
You learn to let go when it’s time.
Did you let go yet? Did you love him a little more?
Keep loving, keep letting go. Don’t stop.
3. You keep searching for something to do, something you’re good at. Something that makes people stop and say, “You’re good at this!”
and this is it.
Words. That’s it. Stick to your words, kid. They flow as easily as a breath and they have since your very first one and they always come back, saving you when you no longer know where to go or what to do and you can arrange them as easily as 1–2–3
and you don’t even have to think, you see?
Stick to those words, kid. Write it all down, what happens after is not your business now. Just write it all. The stories, the novels, the poems, the thorns.
Finish Persuasion, I think it will do you good.
4. The music is always there. You sing but no one can hear. Stop searching for an audience so desperately. The audience will come when you learn to let go. Close your eyes and sing, that’s all you can do.
5. Where do you go when you can go everywhere? Where do you start?
The answer is little by little. One step forward and go from there. You’ll find it soon, kid. Just go where you can, today, and you’ll get somewhere one day.
6. It’s not what you thought and it’s not what you hoped for, but it’s all good. It’s all okay.
// from my book “He loved me some days. I’m sure he did.” 💭 https://t.co/dh6SEhLPT2 ☽
I’m waking up early again. I like the silence before anyone else has touched it. I make coffee and sit in the doorway. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I don’t. But I’m no longer ashamed of the stillness.
Lately I’ve been telling the truth more quickly. I don’t soften it. I tell it like it is. Clarity doesn’t have to hurt people. It’s possible to be both exact and kind. I used to wait for someone to mirror back that I was right to want what I wanted. Now I just go. Quietly.
I no longer want a new self. I want to inhabit this one more deeply. Let her have mornings. Let her say no without apology. Let her stop asking whether she’s too much or not enough.