Anecdotal Wisdom

Short, amusing or interesting stories about a real incident or person.

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[Anecdotal Wisdom @AnecdotalWisdom]

A silly and talkative woman had been boring actor Lucien Guitry with her vacuous chatter. “You know, I simply talk the way I think,” she burbled. “Yes, but more often,” he replied.

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Questioned by the British television interviewer David Frost about his approval of a plan of action that entailed such criminal ingredients as burglary and the opening of other people’s mail, Richard Nixon replied, “Well, when the president does it, that means it is not illegal.”

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Composer Gustav Mahler found the inspiration for much of his music in the beautiful scenery of the Austrian countryside. “Don’t bother looking at the view,” he once told a visitor to his country house. “I have already composed it.”

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When John F. Kennedy was first persuaded to enter politics, his father orchestrated the campaigns that took him into Congress. Joseph Kennedy remarked, “We’re going to sell Jack like soap flakes,” and did so.

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His contemporaries valued highly Samuel Parr’s talents as a composer of Latin epitaphs. Once he said to a friend, “My lord, should you die first, I mean to write your epitaph.” His friend replied, “It is a temptation to commit suicide.”

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On his deathbed French novelist Honoré de Balzac is reported to have said to the doctor attending him, “Send for Bianchon.” (Doctor Bianchon was a character in La Comédie humaine.)

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Plato considered the abstract speculations of pure mathematics to be the highest form of thought of which the human mind was capable. He therefore had written over the entrance to the Academy “Let no one ignorant of mathematics enter here.”

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Asked about the art of managing, baseball manager Casey Stengel replied, “Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else hits.”

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During a conversation about women, a conceited young man remarked derisively: “Women? They’re a dime a dozen.”
“Sure, women are a dime a dozen,” agreed novelist John Steinbeck. “It’s when you cut the number down to one that it gets expensive.”

[Anecdotal Wisdom @AnecdotalWisdom]

Warner Brothers threatened to sue Groucho Marx when they heard that the next Marx Brothers film was to be called 'A Night in Casablanca', arguing that the title was too close to their own 'Casablanca'. Groucho’s reply: “I’ll sue you for using the word 'Brothers'.”

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Shortly before Anthony Eden became prime minister, the journalist Alistair Cooke asked the ageing Bertrand Russell his opinion of Eden. “Not a gentleman; dresses too well,” was the verdict.

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When Thomas Wolfe dedicated his first, very lengthy, novel to his editor, Maxwell Perkins, a proof copy was sent to F. Scott Fitzgerald for his views. “Dear Max,” ran Fitzgerald’s reply, “I liked the dedication, but after that I thought it fell off a bit.”

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Seventeenth-century monarchs died as they had lived, very much in the public eye. To the attendants and notables gathered around his deathbed Charles II said, “I have been a most unconscionable time a-dying; but I beg you to excuse it.”

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A lady asked lawyer William Evarts, a bon vivant, whether drinking so many different wines did not make him feel ill the next day. “Not at all, madam,” he replied, “it’s the indifferent wines that produce that result.”

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The Due d’Aumale was renowned for his youthful love affairs, but in his old age he felt his powers failing. “As a young man I used to have four supple members and one stiff one,” he observed. “Now I have four stiff and one supple.

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One of president Calvin Coolidge’s associates objected when the name of a certain industrialist was put forward for inclusion in the cabinet. “But, Mr. President, he’s a son of a bitch!” “Well, don’t you think they ought to be represented, too?” said Coolidge.

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Eccentric and reclusive, US novelist Djuna Barnes lived for many years in a tiny Greenwich Village apartment. Her neighbour E. E. Cummings would occasionally shout across to her from his window: “Are ya still alive, Djuna?”

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At a restaurant playwright Georges Feydeau was served a lobster with only one claw. When he protested, the waiter explained that sometimes the lobsters fought in their tank, and such mutilations resulted. “Take this one away,” ordered Feydeau, “and bring me the victor.”

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One of the Green Bay Packers remarked on coach Vince Lombardi’s fairness, the fact that he treated every man the same. “He treats us all like dogs.”

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Visiting a field hospital one day, French general Patrice de MacMahon addressed a few words to a soldier who lay ill with a tropical fever. “Yes, that’s a nasty disease you’ve got there. You either die of it, or go crazy. I’ve been through it myself.”