Women that cheat once said, ‘He’s just a friend.’” 😂
”‘I forgot to charge my phone.’” 📱
”‘You’re overthinking it.’” 🤭
”‘I fell asleep early.’” 😴
”‘Don’t worry about him, he’s like a brother to me.’” 😅
”‘You’re the only man I want.’” 👀
”‘I don’t even text him like that.’” 📲
”‘You’re acting insecure.’” 😄
ME: that’s why I always smoke my weed no love ❤️
“Let’s all bow our heads for a moment… 🙏😂
Dear Lord, please watch over those who didn’t smoke today. May their snacks still taste good, their stress stay low, and may they somehow survive listening to the same story for the fifth time. Amen. 💨🤣
“My bad! 😆 You’re asking the wrong question. Don’t ask me, ‘What made you start smoking weed?’ Ask me, ‘What makes you think weed can solve problems?’ 😂🍃
Not any kind of girl deserves a hotel room… only my weed. 🌿🏨😂
At least my weed never argues, never cheats, and always helps me relax. That’s my VIP guest! 😎💨
If I became president today, my first executive order would be: Legalize weed! 🌿😂
No more hiding in the bushes like you’re on a secret mission. Smoke in peace, pay your taxes, and let the police focus on real criminals. 😭🤣
“Make weed legal, not illegal!” 🇺🇸🌿😎
“I make moves sober. After a little weed? I’m out here moving like I own the whole neighborhood. 😎🌿”
“I don’t chase dreams—I smoke, then accidentally sprint after them. 😂
Sometimes smokers take one puff and suddenly they’re giving presidential speeches. 😂💨 ‘My fellow citizens… pass the lighter. We have important decisions to make!’ 🇺🇸🤣”