Angela Corbett

USA Today bestselling author. Fan of classic cars, travel, puppies, & women who save themselves. Fueled by coffee...lots of coffee. ☕ She/Her

[Rachel Bitecofer 🗽🦆 @RachelBitecofer]

There’s a bunch of Tik Toks of women driving home from college to vote after their absentee ballots never came.

We got this.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: I don't think the hike is long if kids 3 years old and up can go.

Dan: Those are just the tributes.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: How did the teeth whitening go?

Dan: Good. I'm not supposed to eat or drink anything that can stain my teeth for 48 hours.

Me: Yeah, you just have to avoid red wine and coffee.

Dan: And Frankenberry cereal.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: What are you dressing up as tonight? A Magic Mike dancer?

Dan: Uh huh. The back up.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Dan: I wonder what Rocket thinks we look like because he only knows us by touch, sound, smell, and our sense of humor.

Me: Yeah, your dad jokes are definitely what won him over.

Dan: I bet he thinks I look like Underdog. With a cape.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: Just because they say you CAN get the flu shot and Covid vaccine on the same day, in the same arm, doesn't mean you should. 

Dan: I don't have enough time to wait between the shots. I'll be fine.

--6 hours later--

Dan: ⬇️

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

A BMW sports car tried to race our electric vehicle and the BMW was left far behind with some sad realizations and regrets.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: This chocolate milk looks like it might be open...

Dan: Is it the last one?

Me: Yep.

Dan: I'll risk it.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: I'm going to wear a flower for a shirt.

Dan: We need to coordinate, then.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: Did you just let Rocket get peed on?

Dan: He walked right into it.

Me: He's blind.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Yesterday

Me: I went to a new coffee shop and ordered your coffee before I read all the ingredients. It has tumeric.

Today

Dan: Time to drink my coffee that tastes like curry!

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: The event we're going to might have some Real Housewives and Secret Mormon Wives at it.

Dan: Excellent, I'm about to take my behavior up to a 10.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

"We can go to the restaurant I made reservations at, or I can pull over on the Alpine Loop and we can forage for our salad for a more immersive experience." -When Dan plans date night.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Me: Our meal delivery service sent a message saying the shipping company informed them our weekly box can't be delivered.

Dan: Based on my teen years as a UPS executive--

Me: --You mean a truck loader?

Dan: I suspect that means the box was smashed and is now pâté.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

@UDOTTRAFFIC All Northbound lanes are closed. You can take the frontage road and get back on at the freeway at 123rd South.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Just sent a pic of Rocket's twig and former berry holder to the vet to find out if that's how things are supposed to look after his neuter. So how's your Saturday going?

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

@KeneAkers I love this and hope I see you out and about so I can wave!

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Dan: I thought he said "carmel muffin" and I was all excited.

Me: That's what I thought he said, too. What did you order?

Dan: Cardamom muffin.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

Saw #DeadpoolandWolverine and haven't laughed that hard in a movie since the last Deadpool. I had to explain the 207 bones in the human body joke to my husband because he's never seen Gossip Girl, and had to explain the Van Wilder joke to everyone in the audience under 40.

[Angela Corbett @AngCorbett]

My acupuncturist added cupping to my treatment today and now I look like I was given a bunch of hickeys by an octopus.